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Any moms with anxiety?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
DD has pretty severe anxiety. Honestly, I just want to avoid the drama and not tell her when there are changes in the schedule. Like today, I have to pick her up from school early for a therapy appointment. This means she has worried about me picking her up early since I made the appointment. I know it's important not to hide changes from her. But what makes you all feel better about changes? What helps your anxiety over the changes disrupt your life less?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2015 at 12:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MicheleJM
by on May. 7, 2015 at 12:47 PM

I don't have anxiety over changes.  I'd give her a calendar and write down what is going on in a certain day.  If I knew why her therapy is making her anxious I could help more.  Is she worried about missing school? Not getting picked up?  Why is she anxious?

mamakenzi
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2015 at 12:49 PM
I have anxiety. Planned schedule changes do not bother me, unplanned ones do. The best advice I can give is give her as much notice as you can. Approach it with a new plan in a very calm positive manner.
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on May. 7, 2015 at 12:51 PM

I have everything planned out daily. I hate distractions or any  interruptions of any kind. Any interruptions are taken care of with Klonopin 

bunnywzrd
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2015 at 12:52 PM

My dd is the same way. I give her as little time to think about it as possible. If she has an appointment today they I would have told her this morning. That's the best I can do for her. I don't tell her ahead of plans ahead of time. Ever. She can't handle it.

Sydel
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2015 at 12:55 PM

I have severe anxiety. But not over changes. I might get a little fidgety, and ask or repeate the new plans a few times,  but it is minor.

wkukid
by Beach Bum on May. 7, 2015 at 12:56 PM
The opposite helps me. If I'm given a lot of time to plan for something I handle it better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 12:58 PM
She worries that an appointment at 12:30 can mean anything. When exactly will I be picking her up? Which classes exactly will she be missing? What if the teacher says something important while she's gone? She might miss her computer lab. She'll only have two other days to make up that lab. She'll miss her science lab. There's only one day to make up that lab. Exactly how long is her appointment? When will she eat lunch? How long will it take us to drive her back to school? What if there's traffic? What if everybody looks at her when she's called out of class? What if everybody looks at her when she goes back to school? What if someone asks her where she was? What if people think she left because she's in trouble?

Then she would just beg to not have to go to school at all. She was in tears this morning as I dropped her off.

Quoting MicheleJM:

I don't have anxiety over changes.  I'd give her a calendar and write down what is going on in a certain day.  If I knew why her therapy is making her anxious I could help more.  Is she worried about missing school? Not getting picked up?  Why is she anxious?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2015 at 1:01 PM
You need to let her know about things in advance and when unexpected things happen, reassure her. Also, you should do some unexpected things that have really fun outcomes. Anxiety is the worst. She need to learn ways to cope and you should set her up to succeed, not worry about "drama". Anxious people are usually also hyper sensitive!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 1:03 PM
The problem is that I did that too much in the past, so I've destroyed her trust and made it so she's actually even worse with unexpected change.

I'm trying to be understanding. I get it that worrying is excruciating for her, but that it's slightly less excruciating than NOT worrying.

Quoting bunnywzrd:

My dd is the same way. I give her as little time to think about it as possible. If she has an appointment today they I would have told her this morning. That's the best I can do for her. I don't tell her ahead of plans ahead of time. Ever. She can't handle it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2015 at 1:05 PM
Everyone that has anxiety is different. I'd say ask her what works for her best.

For example, knowing ahead of time about an appt. might make her moderately anxious, but would knowing last minute make the intensity of the anxiety nearly unbearable? See what she thinks and let her experiment with different ways to see what makes her feel the best overall.

The more control you give her to decide things, the more control she may feel over her anxiety, so ask her how she wants to do it. Having choices and control over little things in my life makes me feel less anxious. That may help your Dd, too.

Also see why the therapy makes her anxious. She may need a different therapist that is able to make her feel more comfortable. Or maybe something about her therapy needs changed to help her be more comfortable.
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