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Adult children having sex..Christian mamas preferred in here

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 115 Replies
I have a beautiful, funny, smart and talented daughter. She has had a boyfriend for 2 years. They're both 23. Both have good jobs and are generally good kids.

A few nights ago, she came by our house and I said something about giving her and her roommates our old couch in September after we bet a new one and she casually mentioned that they're moving in together in September when both their leases are up...my heart sank. We raised her in a Christian home and always stressed the importance and beauty in waiting for marriage. As far as I knew, they weren't having sex as both had pledged to wait until marriage when they were younger.

When I looked upset she said "what's the problem?". I said nothing, and she repeated it In a snotty tone. I said that I was surprised, given what she'd promised, she actually laughed and said "we've been together two years, you seriously didn't think we've had sex?" I told her I didn't, and that I didn't support moving in together. She said "that's okay, I don't need your support, I was just letting you know".

I just feel defeated and like I failed. She doesn't go to church anymore, she drinks and parties with her friends, she has sex and is moving in with a boyfriend. It's hard to watch your kid making these sorts of choices and be powerless to do anything.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2015 at 4:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2015 at 4:19 PM
25 moms liked this
Perhaps you'd be less stressed if you stopped creepily worrying about the state of another adult's hymen.
alexmom529
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2015 at 4:20 PM
3 moms liked this
There is nothing you can do about it. She is an adult.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2015 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Give it up. She is a young woman. She doesn't need your approval.
IfTheTiaraFits
by on May. 7, 2015 at 4:21 PM
You have to let her find her own way. She may never live life as you think she should. All you can do is love her and give her guidance if she asks for it. You've done your job. Now all you can do is pray at least some of it stuck!

(I'm not a Christian BTW, but am the mom of an adult child.)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2015 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Your morals don't have to be her morals.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 7, 2015 at 4:22 PM
She's grown... she must learn from her mistakes
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 7, 2015 at 4:23 PM
8 moms liked this
You can raise them a certain way, but you can't make ten believe or practice it. Pray for her. And LIMIT how many times you tell her you don't approve. 2x a year max. Why? Because if you love her and want to be an example of a loving Christian, you need to show her love. She doesn't need your judgement.

Maybe invite her to church once every couple of months and have a Sunday dinner after. She knows What you believe and why.
threat
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2015 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Times have changed and she's an adult. Not very many people wait for marriage anymore.
svolkov
by on May. 7, 2015 at 4:23 PM
6 moms liked this
She sounds like a good girl. Theyve been together 2 yrs.
I think getting married prior to living together is a bad idea. Its very hard to know how compatible you are if youve never cohabitated.
flibbertygibbet
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2015 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I understand where your coming from. I am a Christian momma as well. My big boys both took purity oaths.
I know that the world will pull at them and hope and pray they follow through with it.
But you have to remember, she is an adult. And she is likely going to do her own thing despite what you want.
All you can do is stand back and pray.
Keep in mind that pushing things will also push her away.
This is nothing you did or didn't do.
You will be in my prayers momma
*hugs*
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