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BREADWINNERS - How do you get your DH to clean the house?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

If your DH is a SAHD, how do you handle it when you keep coming home to a mess?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2015 at 5:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2015 at 5:44 PM
Give him an ultimatum. Clean the house or get a job.
SaskMummy
by Mandy on May. 7, 2015 at 5:45 PM

I used to suggest we clean it together or I'd do it,  I knew and remembered how sometimes you just need a day from cleaning and to relax, and sometimes your kids needs are first before housework.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2015 at 5:46 PM
I give him a list.
Superlaura328
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2015 at 5:50 PM

I ask him to.

PoisonEyeV
by on May. 7, 2015 at 5:52 PM

Just have a day where everyone cleans. For us it's Sunday...no school and no one works that day so we all do our parts to get the house cleaned up. I wish I would have settled for this long ago. Maybe I would have had less headaches. Only thing I'm giving up is the fact that I have to basically " deal " with any messes that aren't mine or I don't feel like cleaning throughout the week until Sunday. It ain't easy, but it's my sacrifice for getting what I want I guess.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2015 at 8:03 PM
I had this problem with my ex. he was convinced that I should bring in all the money and then come home and do at least half the housework because he was busy taking care of his kids who by the way were in school most of the day. However these weren't even my kids my kids were all older. I was happy to give him the chance to be a stay at home dad for them but I expected him to do the housework. He didn't. We ended up getting divorced and because he could no longer be a stay at home dad he lost custody His kids to his ex. I just couldn't stand the disrespect anymore
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2015 at 8:05 PM
I'm confused as to where you're getting what you want. You're having to give up your day off to do the housework that should be done through the week and then you're having to deal with a gradually more messy house throughout the week.

Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Just have a day where everyone cleans. For us it's Sunday...no school and no one works that day so we all do our parts to get the house cleaned up. I wish I would have settled for this long ago. Maybe I would have had less headaches. Only thing I'm giving up is the fact that I have to basically " deal " with any messes that aren't mine or I don't feel like cleaning throughout the week until Sunday. It ain't easy, but it's my sacrifice for getting what I want I guess.

PoisonEyeV
by on May. 7, 2015 at 8:09 PM

Yeah, I don't know. I guess it really is a defeat for me. I've tried everything to keep the house clean, I just can't do it alone. No one values a clean environment like I do so I've given up. One or two days out of the week living in a clean space is better than nothing I guess.

Quoting Anonymous 4: I'm confused as to where you're getting what you want. You're having to give up your day off to do the housework that should be done through the week and then you're having to deal with a gradually more messy house throughout the week.
Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Just have a day where everyone cleans. For us it's Sunday...no school and no one works that day so we all do our parts to get the house cleaned up. I wish I would have settled for this long ago. Maybe I would have had less headaches. Only thing I'm giving up is the fact that I have to basically " deal " with any messes that aren't mine or I don't feel like cleaning throughout the week until Sunday. It ain't easy, but it's my sacrifice for getting what I want I guess.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2015 at 8:20 PM
or you could tell your husband either keep the house clean get a job or he will no longer have access to the money you earn. It's one thing when both parents agree that one should stay home and they're both happy with what each person is contributing. But once one or both of the parents are no longer happy with the situation something needs to change. You are not his work worth and if he wants to be a stay at home dad he needs to do everything to stay at home dad does including keeping the house clean

Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Yeah, I don't know. I guess it really is a defeat for me. I've tried everything to keep the house clean, I just can't do it alone. No one values a clean environment like I do so I've given up. One or two days out of the week living in a clean space is better than nothing I guess.

Quoting Anonymous 4: I'm confused as to where you're getting what you want. You're having to give up your day off to do the housework that should be done through the week and then you're having to deal with a gradually more messy house throughout the week.

Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Just have a day where everyone cleans. For us it's Sunday...no school and no one works that day so we all do our parts to get the house cleaned up. I wish I would have settled for this long ago. Maybe I would have had less headaches. Only thing I'm giving up is the fact that I have to basically " deal " with any messes that aren't mine or I don't feel like cleaning throughout the week until Sunday. It ain't easy, but it's my sacrifice for getting what I want I guess.

PoisonEyeV
by on May. 7, 2015 at 8:21 PM

I was a SAHM for 10 years. I " dealt " with it all before getting a job. We both work now but I expected him to step it up and help out more since I'm not always home. I should probably have mentioned that, my fault.

Quoting Anonymous 4: or you could tell your husband either keep the house clean get a job or he will no longer have access to the money you earn. It's one thing when both parents agree that one should stay home and they're both happy with what each person is contributing. But once one or both of the parents are no longer happy with the situation something needs to change. You are not his work worth and if he wants to be a stay at home dad he needs to do everything to stay at home dad does including keeping the house clean
Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Yeah, I don't know. I guess it really is a defeat for me. I've tried everything to keep the house clean, I just can't do it alone. No one values a clean environment like I do so I've given up. One or two days out of the week living in a clean space is better than nothing I guess.

Quoting Anonymous 4: I'm confused as to where you're getting what you want. You're having to give up your day off to do the housework that should be done through the week and then you're having to deal with a gradually more messy house throughout the week.
Quoting PoisonEyeV:

Just have a day where everyone cleans. For us it's Sunday...no school and no one works that day so we all do our parts to get the house cleaned up. I wish I would have settled for this long ago. Maybe I would have had less headaches. Only thing I'm giving up is the fact that I have to basically " deal " with any messes that aren't mine or I don't feel like cleaning throughout the week until Sunday. It ain't easy, but it's my sacrifice for getting what I want I guess.


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