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NEED SUPPORT - kinda long - ETA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies

Don't know whose at fault, but honestly feel like it's dh, just need some words of support and positivity.

 

I had a hard time this morning because I couldn't get the checkbook to balance, was off $100 to my disadvantage.  I also had a place wanting to auto-draft a second payment this month from the checking account.  I can in no way afford that.  Already so short I don't know how we'll make it.  Of course, all of this is dh's doing.  He's always like "oh, take it out of the account, so much easier", but I'm the one who does 100% of the banking and budgeting, so how is it easier?  Easier for the ones who want to rob us, that's all.  He offered to help me try and work out the checkbook, and I just needed a few minutes to try and figure out how to explain what was wrong.  After that, we looked at it, with him on the banking site and me on the checkbook register.  It ended up being ME to decide to look over my math and figure it out.  Then I had to deal with calling the drafting place and have to try and deal with that.  They say they've canceled the draft.  Will just have to see in the morning.  I know that I've been calm the rest of the day, actually having little to no interaction with dh.

 

Had dinner ready, and I went to give him his insulin shot.  He jumped and yelled out why was I ripping his whole side out, when I didn't do anything any different.  He then proceeded to slam his plate everywhere, then start dishing things out, being sure to bang spoons on the plate so hard I thought it would break.  Started throwing furniture around and saying that I refused his help this morning and basically blaming everything on me, and all he had to hear all day was me bitching at him.  I fussed a little this morning, but NOT at him, over the checkbook and the draft situation.

 

He went to bed, then had the nerve to come back to me and ask me what was wrong.  I tried to tell him, but as usual, he twisted everything to be all my fault and majorly exaggerated everything, and outright distorted most of it.  He's always allowed to throw major tantrums, but I can't get the least bit upset.  He can rant and rave all he wants, but I can't get even a little bit upset at all.  I'm just so sick and tired of it all. 

 

I went and got a bottle of rum.  He finally went to bed.  I took a long hot shower to try and relax.  I'm now going to attempt to eat a bit at nearly 10pm, when I had it ready by 7pm.  That's another thing he bitched about.  If he doesn't have dinner on the DOT that he thinks he should, that's a bitch session.  There's never a reason to not have it ON TIME. 

 

I'm fairly well buzzy, but still really upset.  Please, no haters or critical posts - I just couldn't handle it.  But, if you can offer any kinds words, I'd greatly appreciate it.  Actually, I REALLY need it!

 

Edit:  Thanks to the few who gave me words of comfort.  The others?  Well, I made it clear in my post for no haters or critical posts.  I specifically said that I ONLY needed words of comfort.  How hard is that?  Can't contribute, then STFU.  I don't need your Dr. Phil input on my marriage, thank ya much.  I ended up having a good evening on my own.  Seeing as how dh was staying in bed, I put on my headphones and listened to music for 1.5 hours, all the while making love to myself, drawing it out that long, as long as I could.  Helped me rest for a couple of hours.  He woke up semi-sour, and I'm just trying to hang in there.  Boy, some of you are sure condescending bitches!

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2015 at 9:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 9:52 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 9:52 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 9:53 PM

BUMP!

amy-momof5
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2015 at 9:56 PM
2 moms liked this
You're married to an asshole, there's not a lot to do about it. People give you what you will take.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2015 at 9:56 PM
Is this your husband or an over indulgent child? I think you both need therapy
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 9:59 PM

 Thanks for being SO supportive.  Did you not read that I don't need any critical comments?

Quoting amy-momof5: You're married to an asshole, there's not a lot to do about it. People give you what you will take.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 10:00 PM

 Thanks for being SO supportive.  Did you not read that I don't need any critical comments?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Is this your husband or an over indulgent child? I think you both need therapy

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2015 at 10:01 PM
He sounds like an asshole!!! My hubby and I just got into it and I'm so upset myself..pass the rum!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2015 at 10:02 PM

Geez, he sounds like an a&&. I'm sorry. You mentioned you gave him his shot, so I'm guessing he's diabetic. That can drasticly effect his moods. So maybe with dinner being late that effect his sugar levels and caused him to be an a&&. Still no excuse really, but may be a fact. 

I do wonder why you are giving him the shot though? Can't he do that himself? 

Also he is a man and their egos are fragile, so you asking him to help you witth the check book, then ending up solving the problem yourself, may have bruised his fragile ego. He thinks he looks weak becasue he didn't help. 

All of that may very well be true, but he does need to learn to control his anger and out bursts. He isn't a child, he's a grown man who needs to practice a bit of self control. 

DarksMama
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2015 at 10:03 PM

Sounds like you need to go upside his head with that bottle. And if he can't handle finances, take it all away and do it completely yourself to make sure it's done right. And the next time he's slamming plates around. Take his plate, and tell him when he's done acting like a child, he can eat with the other adult at the table. 

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