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Heartbtoken and knocked up

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
Dh and I have been friends for around 12 years. We've dated for three years and we're engaged for a year. We just celebrated 1 year of marriage on May 1st. On May 2nd he was out with the guys and I texted him to inform him that dinner was done, told him I hoped he had a good day, & that I love him. He replied about an hour later saying, "I don't have the same feelings for you as I used to." I said,"so you don't love me?" He replied,"yes." I was heartbroken since we never really fight and we always show each other affection. I was literally blindsided. Well he works out of town mon-Fri and he has been texting me every day still. Last weekend I stayed home all weekend but this weekend I went to a friends house and dh showed up. My best friend is engaged to his best friend. And we talked when he dropped the bombshell on me that he just wants me for sex and that he used to love me and then bombshell number two popped out when I denied him sex after he told me he doesn't love me and has no desire to be with me, he's already met someone new. Well this morning I realized I missed my period. I took five pregnancy tests all were positive. I don't even know how to tell him. All he does is drink. My dd is 8 not biologically his and he really isnt the greatest dad figure to her. He has for as long as I've know him drinks all weekend and works and drinks all week. Normally all our friends come here on the weekends so he can drink and I can still spend time with him. So I need advice.
How do I tell him?
Should I even tell him?
What would you do?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2015 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 17, 2015 at 8:04 PM
Being that he's a drunk, I would want to part ways with no ties (don't tell him). But, since y'all have mutual friends, I just don't think that would be possible.

How long has he been drinking so much?
ame85
by Chemistry cat on May. 17, 2015 at 8:08 PM

You have some tough choices ahead. 

It sounds like you guys need to get a divorce. Whether or not you want to raise this child is your decision, but it sounds like you'll be raising it alone. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. 

Good luck honey. I am sorry he's such a jerk :-(

kgbm13
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:11 PM

He deserves to know be it a call or even a text and say well by the way you may not love me or want to be with me but I'm pregnant.    Ask what he thinks about it and then plan for support checks to come and court.  Find out laws in your state on infants and custody.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 17, 2015 at 8:16 PM
Thats a hard one to think about. I was inba different situation then You.


Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this
He won't admit that he has a problem but he's been drinking like this since he was around 16 (Wisconsin you can drink with a parent at that age.) I meet him when we were 15ish. I really done want to tell him because I think he'll be a horrible father. I remember do growing up and my father was an alcoholic, it was rough I thought he didn't love me. I done want this baby to know that pain..

Quoting Anonymous 2: Being that he's a drunk, I would want to part ways with no ties (don't tell him). But, since y'all have mutual friends, I just don't think that would be possible.

How long has he been drinking so much?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 8:22 PM
Definitely a divorce... He's just my best friend for so long it hurts.. and thank you. I need all the luck I can get 😢

Quoting ame85:

You have some tough choices ahead. 

It sounds like you guys need to get a divorce. Whether or not you want to raise this child is your decision, but it sounds like you'll be raising it alone. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. 

Good luck honey. I am sorry he's such a jerk :-(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 17, 2015 at 8:22 PM

Me? I'd have an abortion and move on with my life. I'd let him go, in fact I'd just wash my hands of him and ask that he never contact me again. 

Jennabean14
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:22 PM
Oh wow. Not that this is completely your fault, but own your responsibility in this. If you weren't BOTH planning on raising children together, why were you not on birth control? He may be a drunk jerk but it takes two to make a baby. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do. Hang in there.
two4one
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:27 PM

Honestly, depending on how far along I was, I'd probably terminate the pregnancy, then get a divorce.

MeaganPaduano
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:31 PM
I completely agree, smartest and safest thing to do.

Quoting kgbm13:

He deserves to know be it a call or even a text and say well by the way you may not love me or want to be with me but I'm pregnant.    Ask what he thinks about it and then plan for support checks to come and court.  Find out laws in your state on infants and custody.

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