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would you manipulate the situation?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 111 Replies
1 mom liked this
I'm really having a moral dilemma

My 9yo son plays baseball. Right now he plays in his local rec league and also on a travel ball team. The travel team is very competitive and him being not one of the top players he really doesn't play a lot.

He excels in rec but then gets list in travel.

So here's my dilemma

We will be having try outs for rec all stats soon. 2 teams will be picked, an A and a B team. He played A last year. The A team will be all the kids who play on the travel team.

I really want him to be able to play. I don't care if he's one of the best kids, I just want him to have fun and sitting on the bench and only hitting in rotations a game, isn't fun. So I want to talk to the director about making sure he doesn't make the A team.

However if I did do that I could never tell my son or my husband.

Would you do it?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2015 at 10:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MilkLover0203
by on May. 17, 2015 at 10:09 PM
That's tough. One part of me thinks you should stay out of it, but him having fun is important. Since I'm not helpful, maybe someone else will be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:10 PM
The mom who wants her kids to have fun and enjoy life?

Quoting Anonymous 2:

lmao

No I wouldn't be THAT mom.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:10 PM
Lol thank s

Quoting MilkLover0203: That's tough. One part of me thinks you should stay out of it, but him having fun is important. Since I'm not helpful, maybe someone else will be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:12 PM
Not wanting to your child to play at a level he's not ready for is special treatment?

Interesting...

Quoting Anonymous 2:

the mom who goes to the director expecting special treatment because mom can't handle the realities of her kid playing a sport.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The mom who wants her kids to have fun and enjoy life?

Quoting Anonymous 2:

lmao

No I wouldn't be THAT mom.

DensHag
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 10:13 PM
I would do it and here's why. My DD was put n an "A" all star team for softball. Honestly it was probably DHs ego why she was there, he made the choice when it was offered. She hardly got to play and was miserable the whole time.

This was 13 years ago and I STILL get pissed when I think about it. The coaches were assholes and didn't even really give her the opportunity to play when they could have....and DH later admitted that we shouldn't have let her do it. It was a huge mistake and I regret letting it happen the way it did.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this
No. My husband just likes the idea of him being A even though he knows very well he doesn't belong there.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

According to you, you have to hide the fact that you would do it.. so that's only according to you that he's not ready for the level..

Quit babying your kid

Quoting Anonymous 1: Not wanting to your child to play at a level he's not ready for is special treatment?

Interesting...

Quoting Anonymous 2:

the mom who goes to the director expecting special treatment because mom can't handle the realities of her kid playing a sport.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The mom who wants her kids to have fun and enjoy life?

Quoting Anonymous 2:

lmao

No I wouldn't be THAT mom.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds a lot like what we're dealing with.

He's never going to learn on this team, he's always playing nervous. Which isn't good.

It's like a waste of time.

Thanks

Quoting DensHag: I would do it and here's why. My DD was put n an "A" all star team for softball. Honestly it was probably DHs ego why she was there, he made the choice when it was offered. She hardly got to play and was miserable the whole time.

This was 13 years ago and I STILL get pissed when I think about it. The coaches were assholes and didn't even really give her the opportunity to play when they could have....and DH later admitted that we shouldn't have let her do it. It was a huge mistake and I regret letting it happen the way it did.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 17, 2015 at 10:32 PM

I wouldnt lie to my DH.

If he wasnt in agreement with me, I probably wouldnt do it, unless I felt very very strongly. (Like, my hill to die on strongly) and if that were the case I would tell him, "Ok, but Im still going to do it."

Personally, I would want my son to have fun so I might ask him in passing which he would rather do. If he didnt mind sitting on the bench as long as he was on the "A" team, then I wouldnt say anything. But if he told me he wouldnt care about being on B team, as long as he got to play, Id bring that info to DH as well. Then speak to the director. (I agree with never telling my son I interferred)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 17, 2015 at 10:37 PM

Stay out of it. It's really not that serious. And he should play on his merits not because mommy is pulling strings.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 17, 2015 at 10:37 PM
We've both talked about how he belongs on the B team. My husband is just the kind of guy that likes to let things happen.

My son is 9. He can't exactly tell me how this effects him. But as his mom I can see how down he gets, even after a huge win. I can see the difference in him after a rec game compared to a travel game.

Of course he's 9 so he wants to be an "A" , who doesnt, right?

But it's not the right place for him

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I wouldnt lie to my DH.

If he wasnt in agreement with me, I probably wouldnt do it, unless I felt very very strongly. (Like, my hill to die on strongly) and if that were the case I would tell him, "Ok, but Im still going to do it."

Personally, I would want my son to have fun so I might ask him in passing which he would rather do. If he didnt mind sitting on the bench as long as he was on the "A" team, then I wouldnt say anything. But if he told me he wouldnt care about being on B team, as long as he got to play, Id bring that info to DH as well. Then speak to the director. (I agree with never telling my son I interferred)

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