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No. nope. Nein. Uh uh.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I had my oldest at 14. His biological father was 17. He did not want anything to do with him. He saw him in the hospital when he was born and signed the birth certificate, but that was it. When I was 18, I legally had his rights terminated on grounds of abandonment. Haven't heard a peep from him since.

His mother called me today, out of the blue. She asked me if I'd had his baby in high school. I said yes, of course. Turns out, she never knew, he didn't tell her or his father.
She then proceeded to tell me that she would be coming to visit and would be spending the summer here. I told her not to bother, she wasn't going to be seeing my son. She said his father was going to come see him as well and they would be taking him, since I wasn't going to be nice. She started screaming at me for stealing my son when I informed her that her son had no rights and my husband had adopted him. I ended up hanging up on her. And here I thought the only person I had to worry about showing back up ever was his bio father.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:12 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:16 AM
They have no rights to see your son, and I would place a RO on them if they persist. Your ex made his bed and he needs to lay in it, and psycho mommy needs to calm her tits.
WemblyFraggle
by Ruby Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:17 AM

Whats with all the posts of long lost parents unexpectedly showing up lately?  Its weird.

How does she know where you live?  Her son is no longer your childs father, change your phone number and block her from your phone

 

MissyV514
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:21 AM
Doesn't ds have a right or a say in knowing where he comes from? Yes she handled it wrong but put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you'd feel in this situation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:24 AM
My son knows that he isn't biologically dh's.

She isn't my concern, my son and my family is. Given how she spoke and acted, the entitled attitude...nope, not inviting that into our lives.

Quoting MissyV514: Doesn't ds have a right or a say in knowing where he comes from? Yes she handled it wrong but put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you'd feel in this situation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:24 AM
I know. My ex doesn't even want anything to do with him. I emailed him, he said nothing had changed and he was sorry about his mother, but he wasn't dealing with it.

Quoting Anonymous 2: They have no rights to see your son, and I would place a RO on them if they persist. Your ex made his bed and he needs to lay in it, and psycho mommy needs to calm her tits.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:25 AM
I live in my parents old house, so I'm guessing she thought she was going to get my parents, but got me right away.

Quoting WemblyFraggle:

Whats with all the posts of long lost parents unexpectedly showing up lately?  Its weird.


How does she know where you live?  Her son is no longer your childs father, change your phone number and block her from your phone


 

waldorfmom
by Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:31 AM


Quoting MissyV514: Doesn't ds have a right or a say in knowing where he comes from? Yes she handled it wrong but put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you'd feel in this situation.

Well, you might have a point except that - if this is how the grandmother is ready to behave toward a complete stranger, how aggressive & bullying will she give herself license to do once she has got her foot in the door, and can delude herself that she has rights of some sort?

As to the son having a say, again that might have been something to bring to his attention, except that this person is so obviously a bully to be avoided.

Yes, she handled it wrong. There are consequences to handling something wrongly - you don't get your way !

And the victim of her abuse has no responsibility to smooth things over for her.

justme1776
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 1:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Ummm... I have to disagree with you on this. My brother is adopted and he knows it but he will not be allowed to go and find his bm, if he wants to, until he is 18. That is a simple thing. Until they are 18 the parent, either by birth like this poster, or by adoption, has to protect the child the best they can. If this poster feels that this man child, that walked out on this child all those years ago, could be a threat to her child in a physical or mental way, she has a right to prevent the union. 

Now OP if you have not told him that he is adopted you really might want to. You don't want douche bag coming back after he is 18 and letting him know that way. I wish you luck. And I agree with how you handled it. They should be told to eff off and so should his mom. She should had been more aware of her son and his behavior at the time instead of so many years later. There is no excuse for that. If my child is even talking to someone, and he is 17, I know it and make it a point to know her family and where she comes from. Not a helicopter mom, a mom that is involved. It is simple. 

Quoting MissyV514: Doesn't ds have a right or a say in knowing where he comes from? Yes she handled it wrong but put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you'd feel in this situation.


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