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Her daughter calls me mom

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies
My daughters best friend has been living with us for almost 2 years now. Her mom lives 40 minutes away and her dad moved to the same place. We agreed to let her stay so she could finish her senior year in her hometown.

She has become a part of our family. We provide her with the same things we provide our daughter with, her parents don't have a lot of money but they do what they can.

About 6 months in to living here S started calling me mom. I did not ask her to do this at all. I know I'm not her mom but i didn't care if she called me that.

After having many talks with S, I get why she calls me mom. Her parents had her when they were teens, split up when she was 4, mom had 3 more kids with someone else and both were poor. Her dad raised her and she loves him very much but from my experience with him, he's one of those parents who have good intentions but can never seem to do enough for their kids. When she got her first job at 15, she immediately had to help with bills or they would lose their house(they eventually did lose the house and that's why she lives with me now). Her mom was too busy raising 3 young boys so S didn't start seeing her until years later(S now visits every other weekend).

S has had a rough family life and I think by living here she's really felt like she is part of a "normal" family.

So I get why she wants to call me that or maybe it's just simply easier because everyone else calls me that lol

Anyway, on Friday she was in the living room talking to her mom on the phone about how she's getting to her house this weekend. She said something about "mom said I could use the jeep" talking about me. I couldn't hear the other end but it sounded like they were arguing after that.

After they got off the phone I asked if everything was ok. She just shrugged and said "yeah she gets mad that I call you mom sometimes but oh well".

I feel bad for S :/
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:35 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:36 PM

Normal.  A lot of my dd's friends call me mom.  Why is this out of the ordinary.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:44 PM
It's pretty normal for your kids friends to call you mom as well.
The only reason her mom is upset is because she's failed at being mom.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:45 PM

Some of my kids friends call me mom. personally would be devastated if my kids called someone else mom.

elfling811
by on Aug. 8, 2015 at 12:48 PM
I feel bad for her too and I'm glad that she has you guys to be the family that she didn't get by birth.

If her mom doesn't want her child to call another woman mom, maybe she should take care of her kid then. I don't feel bad for the parents at all.
eyes4ears
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 1:00 PM
It's a great thing you are doing, providing her a stable home and showing by example a glimpse of a happy home is awesome! Hugs to you.
Her mom getting upset is her mother dealing with the demons and guilt inside herself. Don't feed into that in any way. Basically stay away from that drama.
Best wishes.
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