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How did you and your ex agree to custody

Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
Of your kids, how did you choose times/lengths of visitations, etc
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2015 at 7:54 PM
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by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 7:56 PM
We had lawyers and went to mediation. When he wouldn't budge on what I offered the mediator told him that I was being more than kind. A judge would have been less inclined to the visitation I suggested. Five hours and when the mediator was about to quit and send us to a judge my ex gave in. The court order is completely written by me.
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 7:57 PM

Mediator, but that thing has been around the block so many times. I can't even remember the original order.

by Platinum Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 7:59 PM
Both my exs took off. They both eventually signed over their rights to my DH
by Ruby Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 7:59 PM
We did it around his work schedule, he works 4 days and is off for 3
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:03 PM
He was an idiot. He couldn't figure shit out.
by Christina on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:04 PM
Before school it was
Saturday night - Wednesday morning for me (this way we each had a weekend night to ourselves).

During school (live in different towns)
I have primary Monday to Friday, he gets weekends. During breaks and summer vacation we do it by ear (usually about 4-5 days each). & I have him holiday mornings (Christmas, Easter).

We decide amongst ourselves
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:08 PM
At first we tried to do every other weekend. I did all the transportation for a year & a half. I knew if I didn't, he wouldn't see our child because he didn't have bus fare or gas money or a ride.
Then he got a car, got his license figured out, & voluntarily only saw our child once every 1 to 4 months. That lasted about 8 months, I think. I would message or attempt to call him any time we were in the area, offer to do drop off & pick up, but he either wouldn't answer or would be "too busy" to have visitation.
I finally got sick of being accused of being the reason why he rarely had visitation & told him we needed to go to court. He decided he wanted visitation every other weekend. That lasted like, a month & a half, until he completely flipped out over me asking about rules. He turned a question of "hey, what rules do you have at your place?" into 2 hours of accusing me of beating our child. So he lost visits for 3 months.
Then I gave him a visit because our child had been begging me to see him, things seemed to go well, so we started every other weekend again. That lasted a few months, until I found out he was taking extremely dangerous & illegal drugs, & being unsafe around our child. I took away visits.
Then I found out he had been lying, manipulating, & trying to guilt trip me into giving him longer visitation or extra visits over something that never happened. Like, seriously, his dedication to this lie is absolutely scary as fuck.
My child hasn't asked to talk to him or see him at all. In fact, my child rarely talks about him. I had my child write him a letter, to stay in contact, & my child wanted nothing to do with it.
So, now he can either file for visits- lie about everything as usual & get laughed out of court, or wait until I've taken the mandatory classes required to file for custody & filed myself, if a judge allows him visits.
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:10 PM
I threatened to put him in jail. He gave me sole custody :-)
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:14 PM

Since he said he changed his mind about being a family, we do visitation at my convenience. He comes to my home. After a year of constantly changing my plans for him not to show (and not call) or be hours late, I stopped. He hasn't seen my child in almost 1.5 years. Last I heard he moved out of state. 

by Anonymous 7 on Aug. 8, 2015 at 8:15 PM
I said get the hell out and I'm keeping the kids. Thats how we handled custody.
When it came to visitation, we used the normal visitation for our state.
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