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Would you end a friendship over owed money?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

I have been friends with a woman for almost 5 years now.  She is a wife a mom.  Our friendship grew deeper within the first year, and I saw her as a close friend of mine.  We got along great, had girl outings with other friends,etc.  Over the last 3 years, we slowly began to grow apart, but still remained friends.  (Part of the distance was because she is a devout Christian and when I experienced a tragedy, she was pushing God and Jesus on me, and I was not in a place to have someone preach to me---but we had since talked it out).  Last year, I moved to another state and I felt like I was making more of an effort to keep the relationship.  While I would call on occasion or text to say hi and try to touch base, I was the only one of us two doing that over the year.  Finally she asked me to do consulting work with her and I agreed to do this.  I've noticed that she isn't communicating with me when I need to get information from her to help her.  Currently she owes me $75, and I've sent her texts asking her how she is doing with a reminder to pay me.  It's been over a month now since she was supposed to pay me for the work I did.  She has not answered me back within the last 1-2 weeks (To her credit, I recognize several things: 1: She had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago and my guess is she is still healing  2: She has a sales job that makes her travel a lot within a 2 hour driving radius, but recently she has been on Facebook (she shows up on my newsfeed), yet she can't answer my text.

I'm asking for honest opinions.  Please no snarky comments.  Would you keep the frienship or end it?


Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:33 AM
Yes, I would. It is a trust issue.
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:35 AM

I never let anyone borrow money without realizing that I will probably never see it again. So I wouldn't end a friendship over money, if someone asked for more than I was comfortable with lending, I'd simply say I don't have it.

It sounds like she has a lot going on. I'd probably give her some space.

by Sapphire Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:40 AM
I would keep the relationship, but not involve money again.
by Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:44 AM

Honestly, it sounds like the friendship was a bit one sided.  You were always contacting her. I doubt you are going to see that money again, but I wouldn't make a big stink over it.

by Desiree` on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:44 AM
We never loan money to anyone, no matter the circumstances. We have been approached, but we always refuse, so this would never be an issue for us....
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:47 AM

OP here, just to clarify, the money was a small business arrangement---it was consulting work that she sought me out for.  So it was not borrowed money, per se, but payment for services. 

by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:49 AM

You'll never get that money back.  Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.  

by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:52 AM
I guess it would depend on how close of friends we were. If we were REALLY close friends I wouldn't even worry about $75....I would have never even mentioned it. Maybe she feels like the only reason you are keeping in contact with her is because of the money owed? Especially if your texts to her are along the lines of " Hey, how are you? Haven't talked with you in awhile. Don't forget to send me the $75 you owe me!"
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 12:53 AM
Sounds like it was a problem before the money. So, it was already pretty much over. Or at least not close friends. So, I'm not sure what's worth saving in the first place.

Keep asking her about the money though. It's business. You should get paid.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 1:00 AM

OP here--I reached out to her throughout the first 6 months of my move on occasion.  It was within the last 3 months that she wanted to hire me for consulting work and I was specific about parameters.  What bothers me is the lack of communication on her end---if she is going through some things, she could give me a heads up, but she is not reaching out.  Plus, as a matter of principle, I am taken aback by what "appears" to be a disregard to payment for services rendered.  She is a saleswoman, she gets commission work so she understands the nature of business.  I was under the impression that she would follow business protocol and do the right thing, or at least communicate any obstacles....

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