Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

sks full time?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 65 Replies
BM and her long time live in boyfriend are breaking up. They live in another state. She and the sks are moving in with her Mom in a crappy area. The kids will have to switch schools and the school they will be going to is not good.

Bm has asked my dh is we would be willing to move the kids up here til she can figure something else out. I don't know how she is going to manage that. She makes 9$ an hr. But whatever.

The issue is she doesn't want to give up her child support because "it would only be temporary" and "the place I'm trying to save up for is for all of us, so technically it would be going to support the kids". We cannot afford to take on his kids full time AND continue to pay her CS. We just can't. We only make about 60k a year combined and we have my 2 kids plus the one child we have together to support as well. We are stretched to the limit financially as it is.

Taking on his kids full time would probably mean moving. Our house now is a small 3 bedroom. My girls share one room. My son has a room and there is the master. We would end up having to put his 2 sons in with mine and his daughter in with my girls and these bedrooms are NOT big enough to accomodate 3 kids.

We are perfectly willing to take the kids if that is what is better for them but we would want an official custody agreement and we would not be willing to continue to pay her support. She doesn't want that because she says she has to have the support and she is afraid the court would make her pay support if we did that. Plus, she is afraid he would fight not to give them back once she gets on her feet again.

How would you handle this?
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:32 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:35 AM
Bumping
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:39 AM
Bumping again
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:42 AM
Bump help!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:43 AM

Sounds like BM needs to make a choice...either keep the kids and keep receiving child support or give up the kids and pay child support. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:44 AM
That would be the obvious thing. But she is fighting tooth and nail against it.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Sounds like BM needs to make a choice...either keep the kids and keep receiving child support or give up the kids and pay child support. 

Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would definitely have custody redone in court.

CafeMom Tickers
sandylanes270
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:46 AM
Everyone will take issue with you guys for not getting 15 jobs so you can pay child support AND have the kids living with you.

She can't have it both ways, though. No one would have sympathy for you if you guys asked for her to go without cs because of your personal issues.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:46 AM
2 moms liked this

Sounds like BM needs a reality check
She expects you guys to take on the kids and all the financial responsibility while still paying her? She's out of her damn mind

She has two choices...keep the kids and continue getting child support
or let the kids move in with you, lose child support and most likely have to pay it to you guys....

its not your fault she has a shitty job

SlaJack
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:47 AM

They are his children.  He should sacrifice in every way imaginable to provide a safe, comfortable nurturing home for his children.  He is already doing that for your two children.  

At $60,000.00 per year with a take home of 70% or $3,500.00 each month, not including the child support you are receiving for your two children, it would be tight but you should be able to budget.

As of the legal aspect.  If it is temporary, even three months, you should be flexible enough to make things amicable for everyone.  I would make it legal and file what papers are necessary.  I would not leave this up to her wishes or wants.  Everyone is acting with the best interest of the children as the goal.

At $9.00 an hour living rent free in her Mother's house, this woman, if she is willing to make sacrifices, utilize what social services are afforded her and her family, should be bringing home at least $3,780.00 in three months.  Without any overtime.  Without the children at home, she should be able to pick up a little time and a half.

Everyone is going to have to suck it up for a little while.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2015 at 11:48 AM
Dh is supposed to call her on Sunday to discuss what we are going to do. This what we are leaning towards though. He isn't about to take the kids AND pay child support though.

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

 I would definitely have custody redone in court.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)