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Trying to file for divorce

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:38 PM
  • 19 Replies
My husband and I have been on a rocky path for a while now. Last night he claimed to be working 3rd shift and hasn't been home since 4:00pm yesterday. I checked his voice mail and a female was on it. I didn't really jump to conclusions because she wasn't talking on the voicemail she was in the background talking to other people. He hasn't called to check on me or the girls. When I did talk to him I called 17 times and each time my phone said call waiting, meaning he was on the phone. So, when he did answer he said I'm bitching and he wasn't on the phone. He said he would be home at 4 this afternoon and its 9:34pm and he still not here or answering calls or texts. I'm tired of being a married single mom. I get up at 6:30am every morning to fix my 5 year old breakfast and walk her to school, I walk to pick her up and help with homework all while taking care of out one year old daughter. What am I to do, I'm tired of the bs and I'm lost. What would you ladies do?
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
clairewait
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:45 PM

I say exhaust your resources to save your marriage.

But, if absolutey everything fails, get a good attorney. Not because you want to take him to the cleaners or whatever, but divorce is somewhat like death. There is a grieving process. It is definitely worth the money to leave the details to a disinterested professional. Trust me.

Diamepphyre
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:48 PM

In those circumstances, I'd have kicked his butt to the curb a long time ago.  It's pretty obvious he's putting his job and heaven only knows what else ahead of you.  You deserve better.

Quoting mom2be2013397: My husband and I have been on a rocky path for a while now. Last night he claimed to be working 3rd shift and hasn't been home since 4:00pm yesterday. I checked his voice mail and a female was on it. I didn't really jump to conclusions because she wasn't talking on the voicemail she was in the background talking to other people. He hasn't called to check on me or the girls. When I did talk to him I called 17 times and each time my phone said call waiting, meaning he was on the phone. So, when he did answer he said I'm bitching and he wasn't on the phone. He said he would be home at 4 this afternoon and its 9:34pm and he still not here or answering calls or texts. I'm tired of being a married single mom. I get up at 6:30am every morning to fix my 5 year old breakfast and walk her to school, I walk to pick her up and help with homework all while taking care of out one year old daughter. What am I to do, I'm tired of the bs and I'm lost. What would you ladies do?


mom2be2013397
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:49 PM
Thank you so much.

Quoting clairewait:

I say exhaust your resources to save your marriage.

But, if absolutey everything fails, get a good attorney. Not because you want to take him to the cleaners or whatever, but divorce is somewhat like death. There is a grieving process. It is definitely worth the money to leave the details to a disinterested professional. Trust me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:49 PM
I work third shift and I don't like personal call while at work either and I work at a police department so male voices would be heard if my husband called me and if my husband called me 17 times I wouldn't answer either! You got issues! Yeah you are a Mother so getting your child breakfast and to and from school is what we do so if that isn't the life you wanted then maybe you shouldn't have had any kids! Yeah I get my kids off to school, pick them up and take care of my 1 yr old all while working third shift. If you want a divorce then www.divorcewriter.com pop in some info and they can overnight the docs. Think about this and what it will mean for your children.
mom2be2013397
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 9:56 PM
Ok, do be snobby. I said I checked his voicemail and a women was on it, why would he be on his own voicemail. And I don't get help at all with my kids. He doesn't work 3rd shift at all, yesterday he switched with someone else. He is here in the morning. I know I'm a mother and the responsibilities of being one. Don't throw jabs.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I work third shift and I don't like personal call while at work either and I work at a police department so male voices would be heard if my husband called me and if my husband called me 17 times I wouldn't answer either! You got issues! Yeah you are a Mother so getting your child breakfast and to and from school is what we do so if that isn't the life you wanted then maybe you shouldn't have had any kids! Yeah I get my kids off to school, pick them up and take care of my 1 yr old all while working third shift. If you want a divorce then www.divorcewriter.com pop in some info and they can overnight the docs. Think about this and what it will mean for your children.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:05 PM
You asked my opinion and I gave it and frankly I am rarely on the side of men but you sounded needy and foolish. She could've been standing behind him while he recorded a new voicemail. Are you a working Mom or a stay at home Mom? He doesn't help with the kids at all? What is it that you want him to do? How was he raised? Did men help with the kids? Was there a discussion about his involvement in childcare before you had kids?? You want us to take your side so are only giving your side of the story. What's the whole story? This can't be the only reason you want to divorce him. How long has he been distant with you? Have you fallen out of love? When was your last date night? Intimacy?

Quoting mom2be2013397: Ok, do be snobby. I said I checked his voicemail and a women was on it, why would he be on his own voicemail. And I don't get help at all with my kids. He doesn't work 3rd shift at all, yesterday he switched with someone else. He is here in the morning. I know I'm a mother and the responsibilities of being one. Don't throw jabs.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I work third shift and I don't like personal call while at work either and I work at a police department so male voices would be heard if my husband called me and if my husband called me 17 times I wouldn't answer either! You got issues! Yeah you are a Mother so getting your child breakfast and to and from school is what we do so if that isn't the life you wanted then maybe you shouldn't have had any kids! Yeah I get my kids off to school, pick them up and take care of my 1 yr old all while working third shift. If you want a divorce then www.divorcewriter.com pop in some info and they can overnight the docs. Think about this and what it will mean for your children.
AnastasiaKorsh
by on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:08 PM
Are fathers not expected to participate in the care of their children?

Quoting Anonymous 1: I work third shift and I don't like personal call while at work either and I work at a police department so male voices would be heard if my husband called me and if my husband called me 17 times I wouldn't answer either! You got issues! Yeah you are a Mother so getting your child breakfast and to and from school is what we do so if that isn't the life you wanted then maybe you shouldn't have had any kids! Yeah I get my kids off to school, pick them up and take care of my 1 yr old all while working third shift. If you want a divorce then www.divorcewriter.com pop in some info and they can overnight the docs. Think about this and what it will mean for your children.
Libby22
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:10 PM
I would get a really good attorney. He doesn't sound invested in your relationship anymore.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:12 PM
Depends how they were raised. In my husband's culture, no men were not involved in childcare at all so it was a rude awakening for him when I wanted him to help out. He takes over at nights when I work.

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh: Are fathers not expected to participate in the care of their children?

Quoting Anonymous 1: I work third shift and I don't like personal call while at work either and I work at a police department so male voices would be heard if my husband called me and if my husband called me 17 times I wouldn't answer either! You got issues! Yeah you are a Mother so getting your child breakfast and to and from school is what we do so if that isn't the life you wanted then maybe you shouldn't have had any kids! Yeah I get my kids off to school, pick them up and take care of my 1 yr old all while working third shift. If you want a divorce then www.divorcewriter.com pop in some info and they can overnight the docs. Think about this and what it will mean for your children.
eyes4ears
by Sapphire Member on Sep. 25, 2015 at 10:15 PM
I wouldn't be thrilled with the woman on the voicemail either. But I'd be Absolutely Fucking LIVID that he hasn't been home in all this time. That's bull shit.
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