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Feeling like a failure...

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:52 PM
  • 19 Replies
So my son's 1st birthday is coming up and we are not able to get him anything until next month. And before some of you ladies start going off about how I shouldn't have kids if I can't afford them let me explain, my husband got laid off and our car got totalled a couple months ago. All saving went to buy a car upfront instead of taking out a loan. Then after we emptied our saving he got laid off. So as of right now we are catching up on all of our bills and will be there in November. His birthday is on Monday and I feel so horrible about not being able to get him anything. I just feel like I failed as a mother even though I know it's not that big of a deal and he probably won't even remember it. My parents did a lot of late birthdays growing up and I remember how much it sucks and I don't want my son to have to feel like his birthday shouldn't be celebrated.
by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:54 PM

well, at a year old, i hardly think he'll remember a damned thing... get him a couple dollar store gifts for now..he won't know the difference

MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:54 PM
he will not remember his first birthday and would be just as happy with a box than an actual toy. Get him some teething rings and a rattle and he will be a happy camper. Thrift stores have loads of toys for cheap!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:55 PM
He's 1, I assure he won't care or know the difference. But if it's that important get a couple books from the $1 store and wrap them.
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:56 PM
Well, thankfully he wont remember, but let tjis be a lesson going forward.
Put away a few dollars from June- November so youll always have a small stadh for his gifts.
Im truly sorry thongs are rough for you in this way.
DobbyNeedsaSock
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:56 PM

I'm sorry about your husband's job and your car. I'm sure it hurts not having money around your son's birthday, but as long as the needs are covered it will be okay. For my daughter's first birthday she didn't even play with any toys we bought, she just wanted to play with wrapping paper and make a mess with frosting. I would just make him a big cupcake or a small cake and let him make a mess. I hope things start looking up, but remember you son loves you, he won't remember lack of gifts, but he'll always know he's loved.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:57 PM

Being just a year old, he won't remember that you were late celebrating.  At one, they don't even know what the fuss is all about...but they love those smash cakes.  Celebrate anyway...make him a smash cake and enjoy your little one.  Sorry about you dh being laid off...how does that make you a failure?  Life happens...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:57 PM
You can have a fun special day without gifts. Homemade decorations, his favorite movies or music, play silly games, dance around bake a cake yourself... Spending money on gifts says nothing about your parenting abilities. The point of giving him a present would be to make him happy, and feel special which you can do without gifts.
fivekids2220
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:59 PM

I wouldn't worry one bit about a 1 year old's birthday presents.  We have friends that seriously used to go through the kids toys and wrap up things that they already had - most of the fun was in the opening for a baby anyway.  

The next thing I would do is start putting aside a little birthday/holiday money each paycheck so that you aren't feeling like this again some time in the future.

lizzie_ann
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:59 PM

We could easily afford otherwise but we only gave our daughter one present on her birthday. For now we just buy stuff whenever. 

tracy0812
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 2:00 PM
You're not a failure, you're just going through a rough patch. Really, at a year old, he won't remember. I was at the dollar store once and picked my son up a set of those stacking cups. Wrapped them up and put them with the rest of his birthday gifts. They were the toy he played with the most, for a few years! Just go to the dollar store and pick him up a few things!
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