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Transman Rantings....

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:34 PM
  • 33 Replies
Im just gonna rant for a while here.....because this s**t is eating at me and I can't stand it...

I want to transition. I'm tired of reading horror stories and I loathe this country for how bias we are against trans men. 

I shouldn't feel the need to hide or play pretend. I shouldn't have to worry about what my family will say. I shouldn't have to suffer through everything alone. 

I don't have trans male friends. I cant rant and rave for hours about how frustrating any of this is for me because I've been silent about it for so long that I don't even know HOW to express it. 

I have people tell me what a good mom i am. I don't want to be a mom. I love my son don't get me wrong but I dont WANT to be a mother.  I want my son to see me for who I really am not what or who I "should" be.

I could go get testosterone shots, IF i got lucky enough to find a trans friendly doctor. I can get my name changed, but only if the judge decides its ok. 

Even if I did those things, then comes the complications of surgery. Going and getting a mastectomy is not easy, and doctors will intentionally botch them on trans men.
And then, once all was said and done if by some miracle i got through it all without any additional complications - DH would want a divorce, which is expensive and we cant really afford it. And the courts might take my son from me during the custody battle on the basis that I'm an unfit parent because of my transition.

I just wish circumstances could be different...

There is really no point to this, no conclusion or end statement. Im just having a crap week and needed to vent.

/rant.

by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FarscapeMama
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:38 PM
Oh i forgot the cherry on top of this excrement flavored cake.

my own grandfather referred to me as "it" after overhearing me and my mother talking about my gender identity issues.
Glitchtastic
by Glitter Trauma on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:39 PM
-big hugs- I'm sorry that you're feeling so frustrated. I don't really have any advice for you, but my heart goes out to you. I hope that things can eventually come together for you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:41 PM
Are you related to purpleducky? Sorry for all you are going through
FarscapeMama
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:43 PM
Thank you. It honestly feels like an uphill battle some days.

Quoting Glitchtastic: -big hugs- I'm sorry that you're feeling so frustrated. I don't really have any advice for you, but my heart goes out to you. I hope that things can eventually come together for you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:43 PM
Isn't there another forum that is more understanding of your issues? I feel like this is the absolute last place you'd get any intellectual conversations on this topic.
Good luck to you, though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this
You need a shrink, not cafemom.
FarscapeMama
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:44 PM
No, I don't get on cafemom much anymore but people told me before I should try talking to him. Unless I need to find some cleaning ideas or recipes though I am never really here.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Are you related to purpleducky? Sorry for all you are going through
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:45 PM
Do you think all trans folks are related somehow?

Case in point, OP...

Quoting Anonymous 1: Are you related to purpleducky? Sorry for all you are going through
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:45 PM
Hey stranger! Nice to see you around :)
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Oct. 8, 2015 at 8:48 PM
Hugs. I'm sorry.

Quoting FarscapeMama: Oh i forgot the cherry on top of this excrement flavored cake.

my own grandfather referred to me as "it" after overhearing me and my mother talking about my gender identity issues.
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