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Postpartum problems

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:26 AM
  • 8 Replies
Since we got home with little miss about 2 1/2 weeks ago I feel cometely ignored and non existent.
I changes all the diapers, feed the baby all the time, cook and clean the house and I can't even get a kiss goodnight around here. Normally my husband is awesome I just can't figure out why he is looking right through me all of a sudden.
It makes me want to cry.
He will be home with me until April 1st on half pay from his boss but he keeps talking about finding another job now so he can have something to do. I just feel like he doesn't want to be at home with me and the baby. He doesn't look at me the way he used to and today he told me "don't worry I won't even be able to see your stretch marks in the dark" I've never felt more broken in my life.

I just want to get in my car and run away from it all and go stay at my dads farm. At least his goats and pigs don't remind me of my biggest insecurity.
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:26 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:34 AM
It's an adjustment. He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it. Talk to him.
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:35 AM
Maybe he feels overwhelmed and frightened by this tiny new responsibility. He probably needs some time to adjust, too. Not that that excuses him from Daddy duties. He'll feel more comfortable with her more quickly if he is a very hands-on type of dad. No one grows used to what they avoid being exposed to.
emarjames
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:38 AM
It just seems like he doesn't care about me anymore.
I edited the post to explain more of the things he's been doing but today he told me "I won't be able to see your stretch marks in the dark"
Which sounds like he's talking about when we start having sex again...but we never really turned the lights out before. So I guess I'm too gross to have sex with he lights on or something. Maybe I'm overreacting

Quoting Anonymous 1: It's an adjustment. He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it. Talk to him.
emarjames
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:40 AM
That makes sense.
He was so attentive during my pregnancy and would do anything I asked him so I'm hoping that it's just the first couple weeks of him getting used to being a dad and figuring it out.

Now I just need to get him to be more sensitive and I've got a winner

Quoting amje: Maybe he feels overwhelmed and frightened by this tiny new responsibility. He probably needs some time to adjust, too. Not that that excuses him from Daddy duties. He'll feel more comfortable with her more quickly if he is a very hands-on type of dad. No one grows used to what they avoid being exposed to.
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Oct. 26, 2015 at 6:36 AM
Give him time. In the meantime, help things GENTLY along by asking him nicely (it'll try your patience, believe me, I know, but you get to set the tone for communication this way, and it's much better than snapping at each other) to change baby, or help wash her (babies are slippery and an extra set of hands would make you feel more secure;)), etc. Start out with asking occasionally, slowly asking more frequently as you see him becoming more comfortable with baby.I'm sure everything will be fine. Just keep things calm, pleasant, and comfortable. I understand that you need the comfort and pleasantness right now, but you have a frightened man on your hands, and they get mad easily when they're scared. He just needs you to show him how to act with baby (but don't be obvious about it). It might take some maneuvering and woman's wisdom, but if you get him trained now it will definitely pay off tenfold in the future.

Quoting emarjames: That makes sense.
He was so attentive during my pregnancy and would do anything I asked him so I'm hoping that it's just the first couple weeks of him getting used to being a dad and figuring it out.

Now I just need to get him to be more sensitive and I've got a winner

Quoting amje: Maybe he feels overwhelmed and frightened by this tiny new responsibility. He probably needs some time to adjust, too. Not that that excuses him from Daddy duties. He'll feel more comfortable with her more quickly if he is a very hands-on type of dad. No one grows used to what they avoid being exposed to.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Oct. 26, 2015 at 6:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 He mentioned your stretch marks? Total ass.

emarjames
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:00 AM
It was more in the comfort way though.
He knows I'm 100% disgusted by them and that they make me feel gross so when I brought them up he thought they was a good way to comfort me

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 He mentioned your stretch marks? Total ass.

corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:01 AM

Ha!  Men!

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