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Stop playing house

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 49 Replies
1 mom liked this

I lived with my husband before we were married. Almost two years after moving in together, our son was born. Two and a half years later, we were married. Due to this, you may see my post as hypocritical, but I hope not. 
I am growing so disgusted with single mothers today playing house with random guys. It's one thing to move in quickly with a guy when you are single and without kids. If you have children, I really despise this life choice. I find it to be very selfish on your part. It's bad enough that you have your child refer to your boyfriend as "Daddy" after only being together a short while, but to have him move in with you before you've even been in a relationship one year??? Are you insane?? What are you teaching your child? What is your plan of explanation when things don't work out and this person you thrust into your child's life is suddenly gone after 6 months?? Can you stop for one minute and think of the long-term effects this might have on your child? I'm not saying that you can't get into a relationship, but seriously. If you are a single mother, more than likely, your child is subconciously seeking a father figure. Your solution is to have them call every man you kiss or sleep with "Daddy?" For real? What happened to putting our children first and our needs second? Your job as a parent is to make sure your child is taken care of physically, mentally and emotionally. Your job is to set an example of what a responsible adult is; how to care for and provide for yourself and family.
I know it might make financial sense for you and "Mr. Wonderful" to have one household and pool your resources, but you know what?? SLOW DOWN! Make sure that this person is going to stick around. Make sure you know them before moving in with them because it's not just you getting into the relationship. Make sure that marriage or a long future are actually a reality for the sake of your children. 
 Is the following conversation one that you REALLY want to have?!!? (taken from my FB newsfeed this morning, btw)

"Daughter & I's Conversation last night:

Daughter: mommy, why hasn't daddy (name) been home?
Me: he doesn't live with us anymore baby.
Daughter: (crying for about 2 minutes), does that mean my daddy (father's name) will live with us now?
Me: no baby, it is just going to be me and you. 
Daughter: (begins crying again) but mommy, if nobody lives with us, who will be my daddy?!

broke my heart into a million pieces. she is old enough to ask questions, but not old enough to understand."

At the end of the day, I hope you think about the potential future of your next relationship before you throw your child in head first!


Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:06 AM
4 moms liked this

I was married before adding kids. Does that mean I get to judge you? Yes, you are a hypocrite. Get over yourself. 

mom1st2three
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:08 AM

you are very hypocritical!!!!  If it doesn't concern you, then keep your nose out of it!

corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:11 AM
2 moms liked this

Can you see Utopia from up there on your high horse?

nonickname
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:12 AM
A perfect example of the saying "the pot calling the kettle black"
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think most single mothers are that enthusiastic about sleeping around and moving men in and out and all that line of drama. I think most if them are too damn tired to do all that. This reads like you watched Jerry Springer and generalized the image they presented of single mothers.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. My SD has done this twice. After her children bond with her latest SO, the relationship ends and the kids are suppose to stop caring about the man because she has. Her oldest child has seen so many people (SO and his friends and family) come into her life and then leave. I see both her kids having troubles when they get older.
eyes4ears
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:13 AM
2 moms liked this
Your advice is good, sadly it falls on deaf ears.
It's a sickness, a dependency.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:15 AM
I don't think most women do this.
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Get married to a man who is committed to you for life before moving in with him and especially before having any babies.

Problem solved.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Oct. 26, 2015 at 9:15 AM
Yeah... that's pretty hypocritical of you.

That said... having a string of "daddies" around your kids is fucked up on so many levels.
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