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signing over his rights

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 68 Replies
My husband hasn't seen his 2 older children in over 2 years - not by his choice. His ex moved out of the country and took the kids without telling him and he has had no way to contact her. Before that, they were in and out of his life basically at her whim. He never had a chance to develop a very close relationship with either of them.

He has missed them a lot but there was nothing he could do. In the mean time he has adopted my 2 older kids and we have had a baby together who is 2 months old.

He just found out last night she is back. She contacted him wanting him to sign away his rights to the kids so her new husband can adopt them. If he refuses, she is going to go after him for child support, including back child support. We can't afford a giant CS payment on top of covering our bills and raising our children. The kids are apparently very close to her husband and want him to adopt them and he barely knows them any more. I think he should just do it and move on. He is feeling a lot of guilt and doesn't know what to do.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this
If he had no relationship with the kids, maybe it would be best for all involved to sign his rights over.
ejkdmom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:54 PM
I got nothing...
DJsmama34
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:55 PM

he should just sign them over

SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:56 PM
How old are his children?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:56 PM
I agree. He had never had a very close relationship with them since they were very small.

Quoting Anonymous 2: If he had no relationship with the kids, maybe it would be best for all involved to sign his rights over.
saphiraka
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:57 PM
3 moms liked this

Not to be mean, but even if it was because of things beyond his control (like her moving out of country with no forwarding /contact info)  but really at this point your husband has been the sperm donor/genetic creator and if this other man has been active in their lives for years then he is their father in the way that matters.  What you guys have to decide, without considering your pocket book is what is going to be in the best interest of the kids.  Has the other guy been fulfilling the role of dad, has he provided for them?  Basically if he has had little involvement at all.. not to mention 2 years + of no contact..he is literally a stranger to those kids.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:57 PM
His older kids are 11 and 13. Our kids are 6, 4 and 2 months.

Quoting SDmomma-3: How old are his children?
LadyAmaranth
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:57 PM
He needs to want their(the kids) happiness even if that means signing over his rights.
hotspice58
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

He needs to work on establishing a relationship with his kids.  I'm betting his ex hasn't been truthful with his kids and they think he abandoned them.  For the kids' sakes, he needs to be in their lives.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 1:59 PM
Yeah he barely knows them. We have no idea beyond what his ex said on the phone last night what sort of role her husband has had though. She wasn't even dating him as far as my dh knows when she took off just over 2 years ago.

Quoting saphiraka:

Not to be mean, but even if it was because of things beyond his control (like her moving out of country with no forwarding /contact info)  but really at this point your husband has been the sperm donor/genetic creator and if this other man has been active in their lives for years then he is their father in the way that matters.  What you guys have to decide, without considering your pocket book is what is going to be in the best interest of the kids.  Has the other guy been fulfilling the role of dad, has he provided for them?  Basically if he has had little involvement at all.. not to mention 2 years + of no contact..he is literally a stranger to those kids.  

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