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Pins and needles waiting

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
My husband's younger sister got pregnant at 17. She decided she was going to raise the baby. Baby boy was born right before she turned 18. Baby's dad was very involved, but he passed away in a car accident when baby was 4 months. It got really rough after that, we had more than she did. When he was 7 months, she finally had enough. Said she was done, couldn't handle it, and we adopted him. The adoption was finalized shortly before his 2nd birthday, but he'd been with us full time since 7 months, so we've been his parents from the start. When we adopted him, we were very, very clear that my sil would be his aunt only, no more or less contact than she had with our children, we would tell him about the adoption, he would be our child in every way, for good, no take backs, no changing her mind. She said she understood.

She went off to college, got her life back. Our son is now 8, she's 25. She has almost no contact with us, just the rare phone call. She's lived several states away so we haven't seen her in person for a few years.

She has now moved back and she wants our son. Her reasoning is, she's now an adult, has a college degree, and can support him.

I reminded her of the conversations we'd had regarding this matter, of the adoption agreement, and told her that she could continue to be his aunt, or she could be completely cut off from her family, because if she pushes the issue, we won't have anything to do with her at all.

That was what I've dealt with all weekend. I'm waiting on a return call from her. I'm nervous. She won't get our son back, that's not my concern, but I want her to have a good relationship with us and with our children, for everyone's sake. I know it'd hurt my husband to lose his sister.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:37 PM
Good luck to you.
KAmamaJ
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:38 PM
Good luck. Stay firm.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:39 PM
Good luck. Hopefully she doesn't push the issue.
sandylanes270
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm beginning to think that almost every story has been done a million times here. Even the replies will end up being the same. Most will say she has no claim and then a few will show up crying about how evil adoption is and that someone should have just given her money and free babysitting until she was ready to do it herself.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I was just thinking the same thing! This must happen a lot more than I'm aware of.

Quoting sandylanes270: I'm beginning to think that almost every story has been done a million times here. Even the replies will end up being the same. Most will say she has no claim and then a few will show up crying about how evil adoption is and that someone should have just given her money and free babysitting until she was ready to do it herself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:44 PM
Maybe you should have provided her with support and encouraged her to keep her child instead of jumping to adopting him. Poor woman. That's so much loss.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:48 PM
It's not my responsibility to provide for her. She was an adult. I did help her, I watched him free of charge when she needed it. I wasn't going to raise him for her though, then hand him back over to her. She was the one who brought up adoption first.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Maybe you should have provided her with support and encouraged her to keep her child instead of jumping to adopting him. Poor woman. That's so much loss.
LilysMama719
by Emmy on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this
It happens at least once a week to the ladies in mom confessions.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: I was just thinking the same thing! This must happen a lot more than I'm aware of.

Quoting sandylanes270: I'm beginning to think that almost every story has been done a million times here. Even the replies will end up being the same. Most will say she has no claim and then a few will show up crying about how evil adoption is and that someone should have just given her money and free babysitting until she was ready to do it herself.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:55 PM
Glad we got that out of the way nice & early in the replies.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Maybe you should have provided her with support and encouraged her to keep her child instead of jumping to adopting him. Poor woman. That's so much loss.
sandylanes270
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel like a real psychic!

Quoting bluebunnybabe: Glad we got that out of the way nice & early in the replies.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Maybe you should have provided her with support and encouraged her to keep her child instead of jumping to adopting him. Poor woman. That's so much loss.
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