Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Update i'm not raising your kid for you

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 333 Replies
7 moms liked this
My sil (dhs sister) has a 6 year old son with her ex. She works night shift as a nursing assistant (7pm-7am) 3 nights a week, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Her and her ex do 50/50, her ex picks their son up from school on Wednesdays and every other week keeps him till Saturday morning and the opposite week to keep him till Sunday morning. Meaning that they each have him half of the time. It works out well because she doesn't ever have to worry about child care for her son.

But here's the problem. She is now 17 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby was a one night stand who is now in Prison for statutory rape of a 15 year old (he is 26). He won't be out till at least 8 years and none of his family is willing to help with the baby.

So now she's stuck, she needs to find someone who is willing to watch her baby from Wednesday at around noon till Saturday around noon. Dh doesn't have any other sibblings and the only other family in the area is my mother in law her two sisters. But none of them are in very good health and would not likely be able to take care of a baby even one day a week. On top of that, she is not able to pay anything for childcare. So she asked us. I have 5 kids ages 11, 8,6 4 and 19 months and I am 12 weeks pregnant. I don't think I can handle another baby half the time.

When I told her I couldn't, she lost it. I guess she took it for granted that I would be willing to do it so it came as a shock when I said no. She said that I am leaving her with no other choice than to put her child up for adoption. I told her I am sorry but I just can't. And my mil told dh that if sil gives the baby up for adoption she (mil) will blame us and never forgive us! Each of her sisters called as well, lecturing us on family.

The situation sucks and I feel bad for her but I can't believe everyone is blaming us.

Since someone has bumped I figured I would update. Sil and I have both had our babies. She in fact dud have to give her child up for adoption. Because of this, sil, mil and mils sisters have completely cut us out of their lives. But we are doing well as a family of 8 and at least we have my family.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:00 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:02 PM
20 moms liked this
That's how people are these days. Everything is someone else's fault.
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:03 PM
14 moms liked this
Adoption is definitely the best option.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:04 PM
This is a good case for adoption.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:04 PM
5 moms liked this
I wouldn't dream of asking you, you have enough kids as it is. It's not your responsibility either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:05 PM
I know it just drives me crazy

Quoting Anonymous 2: That's how people are these days. Everything is someone else's fault.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:07 PM
I agree. I know it will be hard for her but she doesn't have any other options. It just makes me mad that because I was th only option, I am being blamed for saying no

Quoting owl0210: Adoption is definitely the best option.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:07 PM
Adoption is the best choice then. Don't give in and do this for her, you'll be stretched too thin.
mrsrodgers0703
by Emerald Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:07 PM
2 moms liked this
I would keep the baby, but I understand why you don't want to at the same time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 26, 2015 at 8:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree

Quoting Danesmommy1: Adoption is the best choice then. Don't give in and do this for her, you'll be stretched too thin.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)