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Should I have just given in? *update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 47 Replies
We have new neighbors and I know how stressful moving/unpacking can be so I sent my two oldest kids over to invite them over to eat at our house last evening. That way they wouldn't have to have dirty dishes and a meal to clean up. They accepted our invitation and came over for dinner.
When we sat down to eat, their son (an only child) asked me to turn on the tv. I explained that we don't allow the tv on during meal times. He got mad and said he wouldn't eat without the tv on. I told the mom that I wouldn't turn the tv on during meal time. She got annoyed and said he won't eat unless it's on. I said "then he just won't eat. I'll pack up his meal so he can eat when you get home." She said that they were leaving right then.
(I want to add that the father was on his phone the ENTIRE time they were at our house, and I didn't say a Word. We have a no phone rule at the table too, but I won't dictate my rules to an adult who should know better.)
So they left without eating, but I packaged up a bunch of food, paper plates, napkins and plastic silverware and sent my oldest over with it. He said that she said thanks and shut the door after taking the food.
I want to have a friendly relationship with the neighbors, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. They all must have been tired and cranky after moving all day and having to be "on" for new neighbors wasn't a priority for them last night. I understand. Hopefully when everything is settled for them we'll be able to get to know each other better. And now I know not to invite them for meals :)
since we have different rules (which is fine). We don't have to be best friends, but I'd like to be friendly with them, since we're neighbors now.

*update* so the mom just left. She came over to bring my dish back. I offered her some coffee and I told her that I hoped they were settling in ok. She said they were and she thanked me for the food and the invite. She was kind of reserved, but I feel it was a positive encounter. We didn't talk about "the incident" last night, just friendly chitchat and then she went home again. I think we made it past a hurdle and will, at the very least, be friendly neighbors. I'm glad she came over.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nellyoleson
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:12 AM
They sound quacky! You did a nice thing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:13 AM

Yea, I doubt that's going to happen.

blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:13 AM
4 moms liked this
No you shouldn't give in to their demands. What you did was a nice gesture!
godsgirl26
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:17 AM


Quoting blsdbyangel07: No you shouldn't give in to their demands. What you did was a nice gesture!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks! I enjoy doing stuff like that. I'm hoping they were just grumpy because of moving day. Only time will tell, I guess.

Quoting nellyoleson: They sound quacky! You did a nice thing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:28 AM
Thanks! I've never allowed my kids to eat in front of the tv unless it's movie night, kwim? I don't give in to my own kids, I wasn't going to give in to someone else's.

Quoting blsdbyangel07: No you shouldn't give in to their demands. What you did was a nice gesture!
goldpandora
by Platinum Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:32 AM
1 mom liked this

You were quite right in what you did - your gesture was extremely neighbourly. They were very rude for demanding the TV be on in someone else's home. 

My fingers are crossed that they'll realize how badly they behaved and that they apologize to you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:33 AM
1 mom liked this

There were so many other ways you could have handled this.  Chances of you becomings friends or even good neighbors is minimal.  
It's always important to choose your battles.  You lost this one. 

PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this

You wanted to be friendly with your new neighbors, but yet as host (you did invite them), you couldn't turn the tv on?  Just this one time? The child was a brat but you did invite them and a host is supposed to make her guests feel welcome.  I really don't think that you will be seeing much of your new neighbors at all.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:52 AM
Our tv isn't even near the kitchen where we were eating. He would have had to eat in our living room if he had wanted to see it.
I don't allow food in the living room unless it's popcorn on movie night.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

You wanted to be friendly with your new neighbors, but yet as host (you did invite them), you couldn't turn the tv on?  Just this one time? The child was a brat but you did invite them and a host is supposed to make her guests feel welcome.  I really don't think that you will be seeing much of your new neighbors at all.

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