Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Wwyd... At a loss. ***Long

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
My mom skipped out of my life when I was 5 and checked in and out as she saw fit. When I was 15, due to family issues, I moved in with her out of the blue. This only lasted 3 months. I was placed into foster care. Fast forward to me being 18. My mom was down on luck with no where to stay and had my two minor sisters. My DH allowed them to stay. My mom decided to go 5 states away, and the youngest of my two sisters wanted to go with her. The older one, 't', wanted to stay. We let her stay. She was never mistreated. She always had anything she wanted and needed. She also needed a form of discipline. We made her do some chores. Dishes and such, here and there.

A year later, mother dearest pops back up without my younger sister, 's'. She said she left s with her bio dad. A wanted man. We immediately left to go get her. She stayed with us as well. We had guardianship of the two girls for 2 years. My mother finally settled down and got a house but still had minimal contact with the girls, by her own choice. T got fed up with responsibility and decided she wanted to go stay with our mom. We explained that her situation might only be temporary, she may become unstable again. She still wanted to go, so we let her go.

She ended up telling our mom horrific lies of abuse and slave labor. We NEVER even thought about putting our hands on her. My mom texted DH saying that he was a horrible man, how could he abuse a child, how could I allow it, etc.

Since then, the relationship between me and dh and my mom has been awful. She still believes t, who actually stays in contact with DH. (If we 'abused' her, why would she want anything to do with us?) Dh is still offended at was my mom said. I think she owes him an apology. I think t owes him an apology. He worked hard to support me, our two children (at that time, 4 now), plus HER two kids because she just couldn't be a mother.

I just want them to get along again. I'm tired of feeling tugged between them. They're just both so stubborn.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:50 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
quinnhenrysmom1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:53 PM
2 moms liked this

sometimes the best thing is to just let someone go..and when t comes knocking,needing a place to crash,remind her how 'abusive' you are and tell her to go away..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:54 PM
Cut your mom off. And tell your sister what she did was wrong and she needs to apologize to y'all.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:54 PM
Yes this.

Quoting quinnhenrysmom1:

sometimes the best thing is to just let someone go..and when t comes knocking,needing a place to crash,remind her how 'abusive' you are and tell her to go away..

quinnhenrysmom1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:54 PM

do you still have'a'?how is she?

SithMom71
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:55 PM
Cut your mother and your sister out of your life. You should never have any contact with any of them ever again. And do not try to force them to get along. They are total users who care only about themselves.
orchid369
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I would cut them out of your life. T's allegations could have put YOUR children in jeapardy from CPS, and your mom is a poor excuse for a mother. 

Some relationships aren't beneficial to you and your family and cause more harm than anything. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:57 PM
S? She decided to go back with mom, too. She's young, so I can't claim her. She was 5 when we got her. T was 14.

Quoting quinnhenrysmom1:

do you still have'a'?how is she?

slw123
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
There's nothing to feel torn about here. Your mother is shitty, your sister must be following in her footsteps. Your husband deserves all of your loyalty. They'd be completely out of my life for that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:58 PM
They all sound bat shit crazy. Mom and T owe everyone apologies for their lies and bullshit. I wouldn't have any contact with either of them anymore.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:59 PM
I want to, but the little girl in me still wants her mom. I just have issues when it comes to her. Ugh, it's so frustrating.

Quoting quinnhenrysmom1:

sometimes the best thing is to just let someone go..and when t comes knocking,needing a place to crash,remind her how 'abusive' you are and tell her to go away..

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)