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I'm closer to my steps than my bios

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
My parents got divorced when I was 3, and both my bio parents remarried within a few years of each other and the divorce. My mom married a man with no kids, my dad married a woman with two girls, one two years older, one who was only a month older than me. My dad had no more biological children, my mom have four more children with her husband. To focus on her children, she gave my dad full custody. I grew up with my stepsiblings, and I honestly don't even make that distinction, they're just my sisters. I do know my half siblings, but they're more like acquaintances than siblings and I'm a lot closer to my stepmother than I am my bio mom.

I'm now getting married, and I asked one of my stepsisters to be my maid of honor, my other to be a bridesmaid, and my stepmother is planning my bridal shower. I did not ask any of my half siblings to be in the bridal party and I did not ask my mother to be in any way involved in my wedding, though they are of course all invited.

My mother is throwing a huge fit though. She wants the oldest girl of her other kids to be my maid of honor, she wants to be involved in planning the wedding, and she is beyond pissed off that my stepmother and stepsiblings are in my wedding and so involved.

I sat down with her and calmly explained that while yes, she and my half siblings shared blood, we did not share the close love and relationship or the history that I share with my stepsisters and stepmother, and that is entirely due to my mother's choice to focus on her second family and give me to my father. I hold no resentment or bitterness, but she can't expect to have a close relationship when she's never put in any effort and happily let another woman finish raising me.

She did not accept or appreciate that and continued to try and bully me into having my wedding her way, with the people she wanted involved, and finally called my stepmother to inform her that she wasn't my mother and had no right to act as though I were.

I told my mother that she was not invited to the wedding at all now, since she clearly couldn't respect my requests and boundaries.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Aquarius_RN
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you handled that very well. Your mother clearly didn't value you and you were lucky to have a stepmother who did and does.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:57 AM
So glad I was married by an Elvis with no relatives present. UGH.
eyes4ears
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:05 AM
1 mom liked this
You handled it very maturely, good for you. Stand your ground, don't let her bully you.
Congratulations.
CampHarris
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:07 AM

My little brother was married by an Elvis. 

True story.

Quoting Anonymous 2: So glad I was married by an Elvis with no relatives present. UGH.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:09 AM
That's great, me too! Totally cliche, lol.

Quoting CampHarris:

My little brother was married by an Elvis. 

True story.

Quoting Anonymous 2: So glad I was married by an Elvis with no relatives present. UGH.

geeez
by Baroness on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:11 AM
Good for you. Your mom over stepped her boundaries and disrespected your wishes. Now you can enjoy your wedding without anyone harboring any ill feelings. Congratulations on the wedding....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:12 AM
Thanks.

I'm just a little surprised honestly. I was never important to her before, but she picks my wedding to make about her? Not cool.

Quoting eyes4ears: You handled it very maturely, good for you. Stand your ground, don't let her bully you.
Congratulations.
white_wolf454
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:17 AM

congrats on standing up for your self step mom raised you well aslso con grats on your wedding !!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:52 AM
She was way out of line. You handled that very well.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. I adore my stepmom, she's awesome :)

Quoting white_wolf454:

congrats on standing up for your self step mom raised you well aslso con grats on your wedding !!

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