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Devastated

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I've been married for only 4 years but when with DH since sophomore year of high school (10 years) I was OBSESSED with him, I loved him so much and couldn't imagine life without him. We got pregnant super early into our relationship and it was a struggle for 3 years to get him to grow up and man up. He's always been a hard worker and amazing provider financially but that's basically it. We broke up a few times before we ended up getting married and having our second child.

He has a gambling problem , he lies about money, and he is down right rude when he doesn't get his way. I've NEVER mentioned divorce when we would argue but within the last year he brings it up almost every time. Now it sounds better and better every time he says it. Which is surprising since I for the last 9 years couldn't imagine life without him. But I think that's because of how many times he's told me I wouldn't be where I am with out him and I wouldn't have what I have without him, he's an emotional abuser for sure. Belittles every chance he gets.

Now I have mentioned counseling he's said no. He said he wasn't going to pay someone else money to tell us we have problems. He doesn't understand it's their job to help direct us in ways to fix the problems or to tell us we're basically wasting our time.

It's to the point where I am glad when he leaves for work, I don't have to walk on egg shells because he's AWFUL when he doesn't get his way. He doesn't turn me on sexually anymore , I can't stand him. He makes me miserable , more miserable every single day. I am not happy when I'm with him.

He mentioned a separation and I agreed. He was gone for 3 days and came back. It was a waste of time! I literally was so relaxed while he was gone because I didn't have anyone yelling at me or belittling me. Or telling me I'm a piece of shit, or telling me I couldn't handle a full time job. I'm a sahm and wish I never agreed to doing that.

I have been silent , barely speaking to him and just trying to stay out of his way. Now because he knows I'm miserable and that I don't want to be With him. He's SUFFICATING me. Constantly touching me, hugging me, kissing me, holding my hand, like where was this the last 9 years?

I'm so over it. I want out! But now he's crying and begging me to stay! Like why.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Just be done. You're too young for this much misery. Life is too short.
KaylinC03
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:03 PM
You need to do what's best for your children, and from the sounds of it that means leaving.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:03 PM
So are you devastated or him?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:04 PM
Yeah no I would be so gone already! You deserve so much better. Good luck!
Gorilla_Mama
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:05 PM
To little to late. It's time for a divorce
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:07 PM

I was like that with my ex. It took me a year of trying to accept his affection without cringing before I finally GTFO. Best decision I ever made, and I Haven't looked back since.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:20 PM
I am I guess in a way. I tried so hard to give him yet again another chance. It would be chance 3,000. But I can't. I can't even stand being around him. I want to be happy I also want him to be happy. But if I can't make myself happy right now there's no way I can make him happy...


I'm devastated for the kids but I think I'll be a better mom if I'm divorced. As weird as that sounds ....

Quoting Anonymous 3: So are you devastated or him?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:24 PM
Not weird...true.

Kids aren't stupid. They don't want to be raised in dysfunction. You don't want to model that as what marriage is.

Good luck with everything

Quoting Anonymous 1: I am I guess in a way. I tried so hard to give him yet again another chance. It would be chance 3,000. But I can't. I can't even stand being around him. I want to be happy I also want him to be happy. But if I can't make myself happy right now there's no way I can make him happy...


I'm devastated for the kids but I think I'll be a better mom if I'm divorced. As weird as that sounds ....

Quoting Anonymous 3: So are you devastated or him?
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