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I don't know what to do now...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
2 months ago I had twins via c-section. Naturally, my body looks nothing like it did before...I really hate it. I've been putting off being intimate with my husband because of it. He tried to initiate something last night and I finally just told him I wasn't ready for that again yet. Since then he's been distant

I wish I could get over my insecurities but I can't. I don't feel anything close to sexy. I weigh almost the same I did before only now I have stretch marks and the scar and I really don't like them. This sounds so dumb now that I've typed it out...
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:39 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:42 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:45 PM
No one cares
tclaurend
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this
That doesn't sound dumb, I understand.
I had DS 6 months ago, and while I'm back to my normal weight I'm still covered in stretch marks (literally all over the bottom of my stomach) and have a saggy stomach.
It's really hard on me because I've always been very skinny and fit until now.
They don't bother DH at all, but I wear a shirt during sex still.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:49 PM
Yeah, I get it. My first pregnancy totally destroyed my stomach. We just have sex in the dark now, and I keep a shirt on. It makes it less uncomfortable for me.
ilovemykids323
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:49 PM

i've been very insecure about my body since having kids and i'm not the same size i was... i require the lights off. i'm trying to get my body more to something i wont be so insecure about. that's all i got though so here's a bump.

myshoes
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
A very wise woman once told me:
Take a bubble bath and let him put the kids down and do the dishes. Add a bottle of wine (or your drink of choice). When the wine is gone, Let him come take you out of the tub and be sure the baby monitor is OFF.

Worked all four times for us.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:54 PM
3 moms liked this
I think it's normal to feel self conscious afterwards. It's not just a change physically, but mentally it's difficult to accept we don't look the same as we remembered before pregnancy. But in all reality, us women are our own worst enemies. He probably is missing the feeling of closeness and intimacy with you and doesn't understand why those things are bothering you. Maybe you can try keeping your shirt on with lights out if you're uncomfortable with revealing your body to him in one step. He's not going to laugh or judge you, I promise.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:57 PM

Tell him what you wrote here.  I didn't have c-sections but after two pregnancies, my stomach is not the same and no amount of exercise has made a difference.  I finally told DH that I hated being naked around him and why and he said it doesn't matter to him, he's still as attracted to me as he was the first time he saw me.  I suspect you'll get a similar answer.  Men don't typically see our body the same way we do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:58 PM
2 moms liked this
Let me ask you this; what did you expect to happen? Did you expect your body to remain the same? If so, why? What I want you to consider is that throughout our lifetime, our bodies continue to change, whether it be childbirth or age, our bodies are ever changing. It would be weird to think that our bodies are static. Your body did beautiful things, and will continue to amaze you with its resiliency. You are wonderfully created and are capable of amazing feats. Why isn't that enough for you? Why must you look pristine and untouched to be sexy and confident?

I have a normal, 42 yr old body that has delivered 3 children. That leaves its mark. But I feel more beautiful now than I did at 25 with my flat tummy and perky boobs. Because at 25, my body had accomplished nothing, had not impressed me with its strength, had not been worshipped by a man who loves me beyond reason. THIS body has. So I'll take my droopy boobs and thicker waist and wrinkled skin and wouldn't trade it for anything.
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