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Was I in the wrong?!

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:09 PM
  • 10 Replies
For those of you who read my previous post you know about the situation with my mil and my sil. Well first the rest of the il backed me up but today they say I was in the wrong for yelling back at my MIL. Really?! They have no idea how mean she has been, how she has made fun of me ignored me and over rided my authority with my kids. Dh is on the phone right now talking to dh and one of his sis and he won't let me defend my actions. I'm in the wrong now apparently bc I made mil feel bad bc I yelled back. Ugh I just wanna curl up and cry right now.
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:20 PM
She is manipulating every one, I despise people like her. They cause problems for another person and as soon as the other person reacts the manipulator turns on the tears and plays victim.
Big hugs, know in your heart that it's her, not you.
TinkTink205
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:23 PM
My sil is like that. If I have an issue with her the whole family knows by the next day. Something that seems so small gets blown out of proportion that way. It's so bad when I don't even care to talk to people about silly stuff then my mom is calling me asking what happened because she read it on fb.
PISCIS29
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:32 PM
And what is irritating is that dh won't give me a chance to defend my actions! They won't know how much she made me cry. How bad I feel for doing it or how she was saying such hurtful things before I even yelled. Idk what she's told everyone but I wanna clear my name bc I can bet you a thousand dollars she painted this side of me that is unreal. I feel so hurt so alone and so lost.

Quoting Anonymous 1: She is manipulating every one, I despise people like her. They cause problems for another person and as soon as the other person reacts the manipulator turns on the tears and plays victim.
Big hugs, know in your heart that it's her, not you.
silverdawn99
by Jamie on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

its time that you take your home

kick them out

Tinse
by Crazy Bird Lady on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:37 PM

All I can add to this is that I feel badly for you.  I'm so glad that I don't have family living around me, not that my distant relatives are all bad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:48 PM
I know the position you are in. Imo an effective approach is to not let it effect you. No the future don't be in the same space alone with her and when she pulls crap, don't react, overtime it will become clear its all her, even today's crap that she is pulling. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, these people should have enough sense to come to you and ask questions or to at least stay out of it.
Believe in who you are and the choices you make, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. A person who knows you, will know better than to buy the bs mil is selling.
I feel for you big time, I was in this situation on a larger scale in the sense that hundreds of people were involved. I was alone in it, I was doing the right thing, I took necessary actions and didn't talk about it with anyone beyond that. It's been 3 yrs, people figured out the truth it's now public record. There are people I don't even know thanking me.
I think if I had gone around talking smack to justify myself, it would've blown over as an issue between to people, it wasn't it was all the other person, it also could've been used against me when I had to take further action last summer.
I've also experienced this with my ds dad, he told everyone he was financially supporting me and my kids, friends started asking me why I'm not supporting my kids and me. I was shocked lol at the time I had $60k in the bank and was working. My reply to them was that I do support my self and kids. I didn't bother to call him a liar.
I've also had mil attack me verbally several times and I don't respond beyond eye contact lol eventually mil's mom would step in and tell her dd she is wrong or to zip it :)
Step back and see that in a sense she is doing you a favor with her bs, she is weeding through who is real in your life and who is not...


Quoting PISCIS29: And what is irritating is that dh won't give me a chance to defend my actions! They won't know how much she made me cry. How bad I feel for doing it or how she was saying such hurtful things before I even yelled. Idk what she's told everyone but I wanna clear my name bc I can bet you a thousand dollars she painted this side of me that is unreal. I feel so hurt so alone and so lost.

Quoting Anonymous 1: She is manipulating every one, I despise people like her. They cause problems for another person and as soon as the other person reacts the manipulator turns on the tears and plays victim.
Big hugs, know in your heart that it's her, not you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 2:55 PM

I don't knowi the back story, so I will apologize up front if I am completly off base.  I would be very upset at my DH if he did not listen to me about his family. If he did not defend me to his family I would probably consider leaving his ass.  I have a very manipulative bio mom who is always the victim, regardless of what happened, she is an experty at riling up the troops to her defense.  I had to cut her out of my life, luckily my DH is supportive of that decision and when his family asked why our kids never met any of my family, and tried to suggest that perhaps I was being too hard on my mom, my husband took them aside and explained it to them.  They never bring her up to me.  I have no idea what he said but they seem to get the picutre that it is a line they cannot cross.

I wish you luck.  Be strong, and if you make the decision to cut your MIL out of your life, I for one would never judge you.

PISCIS29
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:06 PM
I'm done I can't do this anymore. I'm in my bathroom crying my heart out and I feel so alone. And I can't seem to stop crying oh god I just wann cumble up and die right now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:11 PM

They all need to gtfo.

PISCIS29
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:12 PM
And as of now dh just doesn't wanna talk about it anymore
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