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no you tramp, I don't want you around my kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 52 Replies
My husband passed away several years ago, from cancer. After he received the diagnosis, he went off the rails in a bad way and among other things, he started screwing anything that let him. He got one of these women pregnant and she kept the baby. She made a pain of herself while he was alive, but after he passed away I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her, and she left us alone. Her kid is now 5 and apparently asking about her siblings, this other woman apparently has been telling her that she's got three older siblings and they love her and want to spend time with her. Those three half siblings are my kids and I don't want them around this woman or her kid. My oldest is only 9, I don't want to get into the fact that his father slept around and knocked some tramp up.

Along with wanting my kids to play family with her kid, she's also mentioned that she's struggling to support my husband's fourth child. I just told her to get lost. I can't get past the fact that she thought reminding me she's raising my husband's other child was going to encourage me to give her money.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mojogirl
by Ouiser Boudreaux on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:55 PM

You don't owe her anything. She should be able to access a share of late DH's death benefits for her child but unless he provisioned for the kid in some other way, that's pretty much that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:57 PM
She's already filed for those, and that's all she's going to get. When my husband first died, she wanted to get some of his life insurance and child support.

Quoting mojogirl: Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:57 PM
She's already done that. There are no other provisions, my husband didn't want to acknowledge the kid at all and died before she was born.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

You don't owe her anything. She should be able to access a share of late DH's death benefits for her child but unless he provisioned for the kid in some other way, that's pretty much that.

Hanab818
by ThePonds on Jan. 31, 2016 at 3:58 PM
This. How would one even explain to a child 9 and under that their dad had another kid without tainting their view of their daddy. Now if the kids were teenagers that might be a different story.

Quoting mojogirl: Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:00 PM
That's a big part of it.
I will tell my children when they are older, because this child is their sibling and secrets don't end well, but not now. They don't need to deal with this and I have no desire to deal with this woman and given our children's ages that would be required.

Quoting Hanab818: This. How would one even explain to a child 9 and under that their dad had another kid without tainting their view of their daddy. Now if the kids were teenagers that might be a different story.

Quoting mojogirl: Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
mojogirl
by Ouiser Boudreaux on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:01 PM
Child support from a deceased person??

Life insurance?! Yeah, no fucking way.


Quoting Anonymous 1: She's already filed for those, and that's all she's going to get. When my husband first died, she wanted to get some of his life insurance and child support.

Quoting mojogirl: Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:02 PM
No, from me, since it was my husband's kid. I didn't even respond, my brother handled all the communication with her right after dh's death. I was in no position to deal with her.


Quoting mojogirl: Child support from a deceased person??

Life insurance?! Yeah, no fucking way.


Quoting Anonymous 1: She's already filed for those, and that's all she's going to get. When my husband first died, she wanted to get some of his life insurance and child support.

Quoting mojogirl: Technically the child is entitled to the same social security benefits as your children. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them, as heartless as it may seem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:03 PM
She can file for death benefits and you have no say in whether she gets them or not. As for the siblings thing you should let your kids know they have one because eventually they will find out and if it's not from you it will cause a rift.
Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 4:04 PM

I feel sorry for the kids in this situation. I understand how as a wife you wouldn't want anything to do with this other woman. However then I look at the kids and think what would they want. One day your kids are likely going to find out about their sibling. They may be fine that they never knew her, or they may be very resentful that you hid it from them and they never got to decide for themselves.

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