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SAHM / Working mom...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
I hate myself a little bit for writing a post about this tired ass topic.
Let me say I admire the work mothers, I admire the hell out of them. I admire pthe hell out of the stay at home moms too.

I've been both, this is not a stay at home mom versus working mom post.

I DO want to clarify for some people though, if a married man supports his family for 10 years, and then wants to leave the wife that hasn't worked for those 10 years, she will get half the shit.

She gets a portion of his retirement account, still owns half the house or equity in the house, she'll get half of the assets, and a lot of states she may get alimony for a while

Now, obviously she can't live on all those things, but it's ridiculous that these people say "if she's stay at home mom and he leaves her, she's out her ass "
Or
"Stay at home moms are left with nothing if dad leaves"


Personally I chose to get a degree and work for a while before becoming a stay-at-home mom, that's just my choice, not for everyone.

I will say that when I was working mom I sometimes felt judged, or looked down on, by men, and by society in general.

As a stay-at-home mom I sometimes feel judged, or looked down on, by other moms.

But nowhere in the real world is this problem as prevalent as on cafรฉ mom

All right, that's my two cents ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿป
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pink.Sunshine
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I got my damn life tonight! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒนThank you Ms. Blige! Great show!
Yesterday at 11:33 PM
by Petty Princess on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:32 PM
This has never been done. Kudos
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:36 PM
Not sure if that's sarcasm...

But thanks

Quoting Pink.Sunshine: This has never been done. Kudos
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:40 PM
Doesn't always work like that.
If she doesn't work and gets the home, how can she pay for it? Alimony will only cover so much and the retirement disbursement won't last forever. Eventually she will have to work.
This is why it's important for all sahm's to have a back up plan for these what-ifs.
Bieg9093
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:47 PM
1 mom liked this

What people choose not to acknowledge about SAHMs and SAHDs is that they ENABLE everyone else to do what they do.  The contribution to the family...including extended family...can be worth FAR more than what money they'd be paid in a "real job."


 


Don't text and drive. 


That doesn't mean you can look at your phone at red lights or stop signs or if you think you can do it quickly or if traffic's slow.  Just don't.  You're an adult.  Exercise some impulse control.  Quit driving like a 4 year old. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 5:48 PM
My Fil left my mil when she was 44 years old. She had not worked in over 10 years at the time. 22 years later she still doesn't work and never will. She got 1/2 of everything he owned including his business. She technically got 49% because he fought like hell to keep that controlling percent. She lives in a gated community, travels the world, drives new cars and basically lives the same life he does but she never worked 1 day in that company. Not everyone is hung out to dry when their spouse divorces them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 6:18 PM
I say in my post that it's not enough to live off. She absolutely will have to find work eventually

But she is hardly "out on her ass" if he leaves or dies

Quoting Anonymous 2: Doesn't always work like that.
If she doesn't work and gets the home, how can she pay for it? Alimony will only cover so much and the retirement disbursement won't last forever. Eventually she will have to work.
This is why it's important for all sahm's to have a back up plan for these what-ifs.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 6:19 PM
I absolutely agree with this statement!


Quoting Bieg9093:

What people choose not to acknowledge about SAHMs and SAHDs is that they ENABLE everyone else to do what they do.  The contribution to the family...including extended family...can be worth FAR more than what money they'd be paid in a "real job."


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 6:21 PM
Kind of the same thing happened with my aunt

She was a stay-at-home mom for 23 years when my uncle passed away, but they owned several rental properties at that point. With his death benefits and retirement/pension payout she was able to live off of the income from the rental properties and never actually had to work outside of her home a day in her life



Quoting Anonymous 3: My Fil left my mil when she was 44 years old. She had not worked in over 10 years at the time. 22 years later she still doesn't work and never will. She got 1/2 of everything he owned including his business. She technically got 49% because he fought like hell to keep that controlling percent. She lives in a gated community, travels the world, drives new cars and basically lives the same life he does but she never worked 1 day in that company. Not everyone is hung out to dry when their spouse divorces them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 6:22 PM
It depends on what the assets are though. It probably works if you are married to a very wealthy guy and have a lot of home equity. Not so much if he is a middle class renter.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I say in my post that it's not enough to live off. She absolutely will have to find work eventually



But she is hardly "out on her ass" if he leaves or dies
Quoting Anonymous 2: Doesn't always work like that.

If she doesn't work and gets the home, how can she pay for it? Alimony will only cover so much and the retirement disbursement won't last forever. Eventually she will have to work.

This is why it's important for all sahm's to have a back up plan for these what-ifs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 6:25 PM
Yes but, like myself, a lot of stay at home moms have degrees.
Lots of moms get their education and/ or work before having children, and could work again if they had to.



Quoting Anonymous 4: It depends on what the assets are though. It probably works if you are married to a very wealthy guy and have a lot of home equity. Not so much if he is a middle class renter.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I say in my post that it's not enough to live off. She absolutely will have to find work eventually

But she is hardly "out on her ass" if he leaves or dies
Quoting Anonymous 2: Doesn't always work like that.
If she doesn't work and gets the home, how can she pay for it? Alimony will only cover so much and the retirement disbursement won't last forever. Eventually she will have to work.
This is why it's important for all sahm's to have a back up plan for these what-ifs.
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