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I wonder if she thinks about me?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
In sds notebook she wrote how it was only a few days from her 15th birthday, and she misses her mom. She hasn't seen her mom for almost 2 years, and not often before that. It's one of those situations where she wanted to believe her mom could do no wrong, then when she was forced to see that wasn't true, that her mom was really trying to get herself together for her, then it was she was just such a victim of circumstances that she couldn't...

Does bm think about sd? At some very low moments, probably. But for the most part? I don't think she does, for various reasons.

It really sucks for sd. And it's hard because she doesn't appreciate the sacrifices that dh (or I for that matter) have made for her because she wants to hang on to the idea that bm is a victim and is out there somewhere (no one knows exactly where at this point) pining away for her.

I've told sd her mother loves her. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe I lied.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2016 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 10:59 PM
Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:07 PM
How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:11 PM
She decided to move in with him, she moved out in less than 2 months and hasn't spoke to him since. Living with him she had first hand experience to who he is

Quoting Anonymous 1: How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:14 PM
Oh wow.

Did she move back with you or out on her own somewhere?

Quoting Anonymous 2: She decided to move in with him, she moved out in less than 2 months and hasn't spoke to him since. Living with him she had first hand experience to who he is

Quoting Anonymous 1: How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:30 PM
She moved back in with me for awhile then when she saved enough and had a decent income in place, she moved out on her own. It's been almost a year. She lives about 3 mins from me, it's great! I miss her but am grateful she is close and I'm very proud of her :)

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh wow.

Did she move back with you or out on her own somewhere?

Quoting Anonymous 2: She decided to move in with him, she moved out in less than 2 months and hasn't spoke to him since. Living with him she had first hand experience to who he is

Quoting Anonymous 1: How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:33 PM
Awww. Thanks for sharing with me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: She moved back in with me for awhile then when she saved enough and had a decent income in place, she moved out on her own. It's been almost a year. She lives about 3 mins from me, it's great! I miss her but am grateful she is close and I'm very proud of her :)

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh wow.

Did she move back with you or out on her own somewhere?

Quoting Anonymous 2: She decided to move in with him, she moved out in less than 2 months and hasn't spoke to him since. Living with him she had first hand experience to who he is

Quoting Anonymous 1: How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:42 PM
You're welcome. Keep doing what you are doing, never lying or elaborating just positive that can be found. That way you are never her source of pain, you are her soft place to land when things are hard.
Best if life to you! ((Hugs))

Quoting Anonymous 1: Awww. Thanks for sharing with me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: She moved back in with me for awhile then when she saved enough and had a decent income in place, she moved out on her own. It's been almost a year. She lives about 3 mins from me, it's great! I miss her but am grateful she is close and I'm very proud of her :)

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh wow.

Did she move back with you or out on her own somewhere?

Quoting Anonymous 2: She decided to move in with him, she moved out in less than 2 months and hasn't spoke to him since. Living with him she had first hand experience to who he is

Quoting Anonymous 1: How did she find out the truth? Sd knows quite a bit now (more than I'd like, but we didn't tell her most of it), but it's still hard for her to face it.

How did your dd react when she was 19? I worry so much about sd becoming an adult.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your saying the right thing.
My dd felt the same and at 19 she found out the harsh reality of who her dad is. He does love her even if he is not capable of portraying it and I don't regret telling her it. I think if I had been anymore honest she may have resented me or doubted me. Kids want to see the best in their parents even when there is conflicting evidence. :/
.Blondie.
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:44 PM
Does she know you were reading her notebook? Or were you snooping?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:47 PM
She left it on the table. It's her school notebook, and I was looking for her homework. She doesn't know I saw it though.

Not sure why you care. Anyway, it's nothing I didn't know already.

Quoting .Blondie.: Does she know you were reading her notebook? Or were you snooping?
Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:47 PM
You didn't lie her mom does love her but can't really show it right now. I learned the hard way what type of man my dad was. And after almost a 15 year silent treatment I learned that he did love me just didn't show it because he was afraid.
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