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DHs biggest fear in our divorce

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
Dh is an angry emotional roller coaster and, although I love him and I know he loves me, I need some peace in my life and I've finally concluded that will never happen with him. Both of us are hurting through this process.

Dhs biggest fear is losing his dd as a result of us splitting because of sexual abuse accusations. Bm and grandma have encouraged sd to accuse him of physical abuse when she was younger, and she did. It was absurd, and obvious to the workers that sd was lying and being manipulated. But now sd is 15, confused about a lot of things, and I can really see the possibility of her making sexual abuse accusations if she thinks it will result in her being able to live with her grandma, which would be disastrous for both sd and dh.

I don't know what to do about this.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AmaliaD
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:48 PM
Nothing. You can do nothing about it.
ShakeNbaaakeD
by Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:50 PM

Nothing, you do nothing.

You cut those toxic ties when you divorce your dh. Sounds like your sd is just as manipulative as the mom and grandma, apple doesn't fall far...

At the end of the day, she's not your kid, you don't have much say. 

godsgirl26
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:50 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting AmaliaD: Nothing. You can do nothing about it.
Pukalani79
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:54 PM
There's nothing you can do
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:54 PM
I am still going to be involved in sds life. She'll still be with me half the time. She's my kid. Her bm is pretty much out of the picture at this point, but grandma is not. I don't blame sd for being confused about the things in her life. We've got her on a good path right now, but barely. It's been hard to keep her in the right direction.

Dh has NEVER pulled the "she's not your kid" card. Even now. We've been making decisions about her together. I don't want anything bad to happen to either her or my dh.

Quoting ShakeNbaaakeD:

Nothing, you do nothing.

You cut those toxic ties when you divorce your dh. Sounds like your sd is just as manipulative as the mom and grandma, apple doesn't fall far...

At the end of the day, she's not your kid, you don't have much say. 

TheRaz
by Liz on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:58 PM
You can't burden yourself with the actions of others.

It's not fair to you.

You are divorcing for peace, and clearly it is the right decision. Remind him that you are not responsible for the damage caused by bm and the grandma, and you can't remain in a toxic situation out of fear for what someone else might say or do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:58 PM
You can't do anything. Perhaps she is just angry and manipulative because she has learned it from your husband. Space might be good for her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2016 at 2:14 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 6, 2016 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
The way I see it you have two choices. One get a divorce and let the chip fall where they will. The second is to stay married for another three to four years.
Diva-Mami
by Petty LaBelle on Feb. 6, 2016 at 3:00 PM
If you two divorce, how will you still have her half of the time?
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