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Is this cheating?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
Ok so my husband, we've been married for almost a year. Been together for almost 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter together. Every Sunday he'd go out after work to a restaurant/bar with work friends to watch the games. No big deal. This particular Sunday, he said they were going to hooters. Which is perfectly fine. (One occasional Sunday that we actually had a sitter, and we had planned to go to the casino that night) we didn't really talk until it started getting to be around 5 or so which he gets off around noon. He eventually calls me saying he needed me to come get him because he was too drunk. So I did. Well I checked his bank account. He had lied and went to a new bar called tight ends where girls are basically naked. Ok he lied I got over that big deal. This was the last weekend in November. We went all the way until 2 days before New Year's Eve, we had gotten into an argument and he decided he needed time away so he went to his parents to stay the night. Idk why but I had a gut feeling so I checked his email. He had been emailing a girl who works at tight ends that he had met that night. He lied through our actual first date anniversary, our trip to NYC, my birthday, and Christmas. And he only admitted bc I confronted him. He apologized, delete email, said he wouldn't do it again. But it's hard for me to get past. This has never happened before. What would you do?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2016 at 6:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2016 at 6:50 PM
5 moms liked this

Can you say/do it in front of your spouse with their blessing? If you can't it's cheating and no, I wouldn't want him in my life anymore. I wouldn't even be okay with the fact that he lied and went to go to a nudey bar, but that's just me. You either treat me with respect and are honest or I don't want you. I'd let him have his naked bar waitress, I'd serve him to her on a platter.

MamaBear131716
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 6:53 PM
2 moms liked this

I would personally consider something like that cheating because he has no reason to contact that woman. What were they talking about in the emails? I can't imagine it being anything innocent or platonic.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 6, 2016 at 6:58 PM

I'd only be upset about the lying.  Lying is a huge 'NO' in our relationship especially since mine is open and lying goes against the rules. 

If I were you, I don't think I could ever forgive him for lying so easily.  It's one thing to lie if you are planning a surprise for your significant other like surprising them with flowers or dinner and a movie, but it is another thing to just lie to not get caught and do things like that. 

Would you have been ok if he had told you that he was going to a nude bar or something?

Also there was no reason for him to be talking to one of the women there.  I would consider that a red flag since he was trying to hide it.

bigmouthbabe
by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this
He's a cheater. I'm sure there's more. This is just the only one you know about. I'd leave. You should too.
Kristen.Marie
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:01 PM
Rule of thumb.....if u have to ask if something is cheating, then
it probably is.
alexsmomma06
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this

My theory- If you have to ask if it's "technically cheating", it is actually cheating. 

momma2mms
by Kristin on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:03 PM
I don't think emailing is cheating but it's inappropriate and I would be livid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:12 PM

This also. You had do dig to find out that he has done this stuff, imagine what you've missed. 

Quoting bigmouthbabe: He's a cheater. I'm sure there's more. This is just the only one you know about. I'd leave. You should too.


Ted1242
by I'm listening. on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:14 PM
I agree.

Quoting bigmouthbabe: He's a cheater. I'm sure there's more. This is just the only one you know about. I'd leave. You should too.
Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 7:20 PM
Depends on what the conversations were like in the emails. If they were flirty intimate things yeah that's cheating. And now you have to think long and hard if 1) you trust him and 2) is the marriage salvageable.?
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