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Im losing my mind. Is anyone else with their kid 24/7?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

Literally, 24 hours a day/7 days a week.


DH got a great job out of town and we moved to a new city with no one we know anywhere near us.  

Our DD is on the autism spectrum and we've tried for years, but she's still extremely intolerant of new people and places.

We tried daycare, but it has always failed spectacularly. After having to leave work several times to pick her up because she was absolutely inconsolable, I had to quit my job. (seriously, she banged her head on doors, scratched the teachers when they tried to hold her, and held her breath till she passed out, multiple times. The daycare said they could no longer provide "the care she needs" and booted us)

So, now we're home alone together all day, every day, and our only company is her OT, DT, and ST.

I am going insane. Batshit kukubonkers crazypants.  

I love her to death, I'm grateful for her, but I can't take it much longer.

I'm not bored, I obnoxiously busy, and it's not that I'm lonely, it's just the opposite. I need more time alone.  I need just a little bit of time, every single day, to just be alone.

Read a little, put on headphones, poop alone, take a bath alone, sleep through the night, just freking be alone!  DH is gone so much she only sees him weekends and is less and less comfortable with him with every week, and I am slowly losing my mind.


I was thinking, and no one I know in my actual life understands, because no one is with their child every minute of every day. Yes, I get a brief respite while he sleeps. That's it

My parents cant help watch her, we have no friends in the area, and until she's farther alone with her therapy I'm afraid of getting kicked out of another preschool. I'm very close to hiring a nanny part time to see if that would work, but it takes so long for D to warm up to strangers it'd be days before I could leave them alone together.


Okay, that my vent. I'm done, she's waking up soon, I'm going to drink as much coffee as I can till then 


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Melbornj
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:16 AM
Yep, with 2 of them and the older 3 are in school all day, DD3 is in preschool twice a week.
TardisTraveler
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:18 AM
That's tough. I planned to answer yes, but no....not like that. I'm the "kid drop off" . my kids, kids I babysit plus friends kids...I'm always with kids, so it seems but the reality is i shop alone (hubby is home) I shower alone and shit alone. I also go to friends when hubby is home etc. Sooooo...my point is that your situation is much more difficult.

Is there any SN groups in your area you can attend to meet other parents and kids?
Rigby229
by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:18 AM
2 moms liked this
I would do the nanny or respite care anyway even if it does take days because you need it and dd needs someone she trusts other than you. If something happens to you..say you get sick..the caretaker is there. There's an autism group here they can give you advice as well. Gl
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:22 AM
I'm with my three year old all the time his dad works two jobs only gets an hour of sleep between each job it's hard my three year old has odd it's autism it's hard I have people in my home to work with his autism
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:24 AM

There is a playgroup for kids on the spectrum near us, and we've gone a few times but only able to stay 5-10 minutes.  She usually does well till another child tried to interact with her, but we keep trying, ever time we make it a minute or so longer.

The other moms are very nice but I don't know any of them.


Quoting TardisTraveler: That's tough. I planned to answer yes, but no....not like that. I'm the "kid drop off" . my kids, kids I babysit plus friends kids...I'm always with kids, so it seems but the reality is i shop alone (hubby is home) I shower alone and shit alone. I also go to friends when hubby is home etc. Sooooo...my point is that your situation is much more difficult. Is there any SN groups in your area you can attend to meet other parents and kids?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:26 AM

Yeah, she sees her Developmental Therapist once a week, Speech Therapist twice a week, and Occupational therapist twice a week.  It's taken some time but she's warming up to them too.

DH leaves before DD is up and comes home after she's asleep too, it's so difficult!


Quoting Anonymous 2: I'm with my three year old all the time his dad works two jobs only gets an hour of sleep between each job it's hard my three year old has odd it's autism it's hard I have people in my home to work with his autism


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Check into a special needs pre-k. I'm always with my kids, it's exhausting & my dh doesn't get it. We were 3 weeks away from moving to my home town where I would have help, I would get breaks. It would be amazing. But nope, that fucker had to go & get a very good job offer here in his field. So I'm still stuck in this hellhole. I have been so unhappy here & depressed & he knows it. But he won't move if he gets that job. I'm to the point where I'm hoping he won't but I know he will. So I'm just going to continue to suck it up & quietly go batshit crazy.
Cbreland07
by CranioMama on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:28 AM
3 kids with 1 on the way, and Ive stayed at home for the past 7 yrs. I got my first weekend away from my kids a few months ago with a friend and we just sat in the hotel reading, talking, and sleeping. It's incredibly hard being constantly on call, needed, and touched. It's ok to be frustrated and need your alone time.
Could you possibly hire a babysitter to come? You could stay with her for the first week or two so your dd can adjust to having her around then slowly take yourself out of the house and leave her with the sitter
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:29 AM
I've been where you are. My son is now almost 17 years old, and doing so well I believe that his developmental specialist is going to remove the ASD dx when we see him again in April. I'm starting over with my 3yo DS. I'm in school again at age 38yo to get my master's and I was planning on following up with my doctorate. I printed out copies of my resume. I couldn't wait to go back to work. Now I have 2yo dd and 3yo ds 24/7 and we go to therapy far more often than we even go outside, lol! Plus I have a 12yo dd, a 14yo ds, and a 16yo ds. At least the big ones go to school. Dh gets to work, b/c I jumped in and became the autism expert before he did. He's obviously the smart one.

It's all a big joke on me. The Gods are comedians.

Btw: it does get easier. Make your dh take DD away for a day; or you go away for a day, every few weeks. You have to have room to breathe, or you will not make it through this whole and (mostly) sane. Good luck to you!
zoegirlsmom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:29 AM

Ask about respite care, you do need some down time.

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