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Do You Believe A Child..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

Can be coerced into lying about sexual abuse?

Or do you think that if they say someone abused them, it's always, 100%, automatically the truth?

I think for the most part it's the truth, but I also believe kids can be coerced into lying about it.

My DH's Mom did that to him. She tried to get him to lie and say his Dad molested him during a custody battle. But my DH never would. He was 9 or 10 and remembers going through extensive counseling but he says his Dad never touched him. His Mom was just a psychopath and tried to get him to lie.

I definitely believe there have been other cases like this.

Someone wanted to seek revenge against a family friend. So he got his child to lie and say the friend molested him. Later, the child recanted the story after my friend had done time for it. IDK if charges were filed against the person who made the kid lie. It wasn't something that could be proved, but they just believed the child's word.

My own Mother I remember  her telling me if I told authorties my Dad touched me he would never be able to see me again, and she wanted me to because she hated him so much. She didn't *tell* me to but she clearly planted the idea in my head and wanted me to. I never did it though, cause my Dad never did anything to me.

In mine and my DH's case, we were a bit older when adults tried to get us to lie, but I think had we been younger the cases might have been much different, as we would have been more easily coerced.

Thoughts?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2016 at 9:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momeficient
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 9:57 AM
I absolutely believe they can be coerced. Children are so impressionable and tend to do things that will receive praise, even if that means lying.
TisHerself
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:00 AM

The allegations must always be believed initially - the consequences are too great not to. 

Once a safety plan is in place, a thorough investigation should help determine veracity. 

Linda_Runs
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:02 AM

I work in family law and have seen this before.  So YES!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:04 AM

A neighbor of mine used to work as a cop in NY. He says he saw it all the time there, but most cases never made it to the dockets. He's now a state trooper.


Quoting Linda_Runs:

I work in family law and have seen this before.  So YES!


AvantGardener
by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:04 AM

Of course they can. Kids believe in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny just because we tell them it's true. I think until a certain age it is very easy to coerce a child in to pretty much anything, this is why they are often victims of abuse in the first place.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:06 AM

I know someone who did time and his ex got her kids , a boy and a girl lie about it. It was sad he lost being able to see his own son for the time being, it backfired on the ex tho, the kids in court spilt the beans and charges were dropped. this guy was beaten in jail daily for months before the truth cameout. Her reason for lying, he broke up with her to work things out with the mother of his son!

Linda_Runs
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:12 AM

When a case of sexual abuse comes to light just after a marital breakdown, many red flags come up.  First, the child needs to be assessed to confirm that is actually happened.  In most false allegation cases, the child assessor finds out immediately.

This is where it gets unfair and ugly.  First thing that happens is the man is barred by the court from seeing his child then the police are called where he is usually arrested, interviewed and probably charged.  No further processing of him will happen until there is enough evidence.

During that time, sole custody is given to the mom.  Months later, if the claim is false, nothing usually happens to the mom or child.  The charges are withdrawn with a code that means, "Insufficient evidence to obtain a conviction."  This police record is kept for 10 years on him.  He will likely never get custody ever after this.

What a system!

Quoting Anonymous 1:

A neighbor of mine used to work as a cop in NY. He says he saw it all the time there, but most cases never made it to the dockets. He's now a state trooper.


Quoting Linda_Runs:

I work in family law and have seen this before.  So YES!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:14 AM

I hate to say it but I think it's fairly common. Spiteful exes.

nellyoleson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:15 AM
Look at all the day care abuse hysteria from the 1980s...it forced them to reevaluate investigating sexual abuse claims and to try to make them less suggestive.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:17 AM
Of course though I believe the lies are easier to sort out. Stories won't be consistent, details won't be there, etc. I think you ALWAYS assume a child is telling the truth until you absolutely determine otherwise.
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