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I told DD to suck it up and stop complaining about her step siblings...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

DD is 19 and at university. This summer she decided to come home for the summer (she didnt get the internship she wanted and now has no reason to stay at the school) 

She is upset because this year DH's kids will be here also. They are 15,16, and 16. They dont see their dad as much (summers and holidays) because their mom moved them across the country. They were here the last two summer also. For some reason DD didnt have any issue with that. DS and my other DD have no problem with that either. They actually like their step siblings

DD called me a bitch. She told me I was just trying to replace her and her actual siblings. She said I was just a desperate empty nester who needed to feel the void. I felt so hurt when she said that. I told her that maybe she shouldnt be coming home at all. If she wants to she needs to completely change her attitude and make the apology of a life time. 

I understand she doesnt like her step siblings. She has never told me why during any of our talks but she also barely lives at home. She is essentially a grown adult I told her that she could either get along with everyone or figure it out for herself. The whole world doesnt revolve around her. Apparently I dont deserve to find a man I love and be happy with him. I am very upset that I raised such a spoiled brat. I cant even believe it. 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Famousglm714
by Gina on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:48 AM

She is being a brat. I could see not liking step siblings if they're annoying and always getting into your stuff but she's never even around them really. She can stay on campus if she's going to be that way. 

jws120567
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:48 AM

Wow, she was WAY out of line!  That was completely uncalled for.  I wonder if that's her way of lashing out because she didn't get the internship?  If she's going to be that much of a bitch about it, then she should stay there and get a job.  I'm really sorry that she was so vitriolic towards you, you didn't deserve that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:06 AM
No wonder you want to replace her, she sounds awful.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:09 AM
I'd probably tell her to not comes home at all if this was her attitude. She could come home once she got over herself and was willing to behave appropriately.
quinnhenrysmom1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:12 AM

has anything ever happened to make her feel that way?

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:15 AM
2 moms liked this

Um - she's 19.  Just like toddlers throw fits, teenagers (yes, even at 19) say things they don't always mean.

Acknowledge HER feelings.  Maybe she does feel left out.  Do you do things with  her without the other kids along?  Is the house too crowded?  Are you still treating her like one of the younger kids?

QueenBee107
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:16 AM
I would have told her the same thing. At 19 you don't have to let her move back for the summer. She don't like it she can live elsewhere.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:18 AM

I go and visit her at school at least once a year for a long weekend. We go to a bed and breakfast and it is just us. 

It is hard to listen to her feelings when they are so irrational. She doesnt care about anyone elses feelings but her own. 

She is a grown adult so no I dont treat her like my step kids. 

Quoting Not_A_Native:

Um - she's 19.  Just like toddlers throw fits, teenagers (yes, even at 19) say things they don't always mean.

Acknowledge HER feelings.  Maybe she does feel left out.  Do you do things with  her without the other kids along?  Is the house too crowded?  Are you still treating her like one of the younger kids?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:19 AM

She doesnt like the fact that I got remarried. 

Quoting quinnhenrysmom1:

has anything ever happened to make her feel that way?


shiny76
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:21 AM

sounds like she really need to get over herself. if you've been remarried that long and she's still acting like a child, let her figure it out on her own this summer. she knows you love her and just wants to be a brat.

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