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I feel so terrible! (This is gunna be long ) *UPDATE. what did i do??*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies
Well. I guess it all started in high school. I met a boy, L. I had an instant crush. He wasn't interested that way, so we became friends and he introduced me to his brother /best friend, T. We fell completely in love fast. He made me feel like I've never felt before! He took care of me, taught me how it felt to be loved. Spoiled me. Was just amazing! We ended up moving in together and had a baby. T owns a company, so he works a lot, but I get to be home raising my, now two, babies. I am living in my dream home. Have a nice car to take the kids out whenever I want. And even though he works all day, after I get the kids to bed and T comes home, I get to go to the gym or wine tasting or painting classes with my girls.

I don't like to stay home too much after T gets there because I'm tired from raising these kids all day and need some me time. That, And T really has a temper. If he is home we fight. He says the meanest things! He makes me feel like the lowest person on earth! I have to go to the mirror and tell myself that I'm not the fat ugly slut he tells me I am.

Well. L and I became the best of friends! For 8yrs he has been my BFF. We are so close, his last serious GF broke up with him because she was convinced we were having an affair.

About 4mo ago I went to him crying about how T was treating me. He just held me and told me how beautiful I was and how much better I deserve. I cried with him for hours! Then I kissed him! I knew it was wrong the moment it happened and I left.

Since then, I have been drawn to L every time I fight with T. Things progressed from kissing with him. I know it's wrong. It's so wrong, but it feels so good! He makes me feel like T used to!

*UPDATE*

OMG! I fell asleep after replying to these last night and left my laptop on! T saw this post! Then he went through my phone and saw pictures I took, but never sent, for L! It was like 5AM and he woke me up asking ETC was going on! Then he drove to Ls house to kick his ass! I thought he was going to kill him he was so mad! He came back and told me we needed to schedule an emergency therapy session that day. We went to it and I had to choose right then and there to either leave T or cut all ties with L.

I'm so crushed! L was my best friend! Now I have no one! My kids just lost their only uncle in the state!

T isn't talking to me right now. He just got home and went to bed. I feel so terrible for hurting him like this! What was I thinking?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2016 at 11:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 12:12 PM
Bump
Not a good predicament. Always end a relationship before beginning a new one
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:38 PM
I don't want to end my relationship. I love T. He is the father of my children. He provides for us. He does take very good care of us. We are in counseling together. But I think I might love L as well.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Bump
Not a good predicament. Always end a relationship before beginning a new one
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this
This has been done before.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:44 PM
What you like is the money. Time to find a way to support yourself and move on with your life. There are no excuses for what your doing.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't want to end my relationship. I love T. He is the father of my children. He provides for us. He does take very good care of us. We are in counseling together. But I think I might love L as well.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Bump
Not a good predicament. Always end a relationship before beginning a new one
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Nope. 

If you and T are in counseling, you need to dedicate your time 100% to seeing if there's anything in your relationship that can be salvaged, esp. since you say you still love him. 

Relationships change over time, and it's not always about the mushy gushy warm and fuzzies. L is probably very enticing; there's no responsibility with L, no babies, no history, no life building, no stress. It's care-free. L can make you feel great because L really has no ties to having to take care of you financially or physically or whatnot. Of course you can feel lovey dovey with L; he is giving you compliments you want to hear and it feels good and the idea of him is nice because again, there's no responsibility there.

T is being a douchebag and borderline abusive and I'm not excusing that whatsoever. The fact he is in counseling shows that he wants to change and still cares about his family and I hope it happens. Marriage and longterm relationships are NOT easy. They take work. You see all sides of a person you might not have before because you're linked that intimately with them. Add a kid in the mix and BAM! It's going to be super fucking hard. 

You need to make a decision. Either you walk away from your marriage and give yourself time to heal from that before venturing out into a new relationship, with L or someone else. OR you drop the side piece crap with L and put yourself into saving your marriage. You will fail at both if you try to do both. Good luck. 

elzmnsf
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:49 PM
Blah blah blah.... like sands through the hourglass...
shiny76
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:53 PM

your having trouble and he's treating you wrong, but your now emotionally cheating on him, you can't have it both ways, and if you wanna stay married you need to commit yourself 100% to the husband or leave, don't go outside your marriage, sometimes marriage is work not all about who's gonna make you feel the best. do you really think if your husband finds out that will be a good thing...i think you need to think about whats best for your family and not just for you if you wanna keep it.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this
So you are being the slut t is accusing you of being?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 1:57 PM
Sounds like it has moved from emotionally cheating to physically cheating.

Quoting shiny76:

your having trouble and he's treating you wrong, but your now emotionally cheating on him, you can't have it both ways, and if you wanna stay married you need to commit yourself 100% to the husband or leave, don't go outside your marriage, sometimes marriage is work not all about who's gonna make you feel the best. do you really think if your husband finds out that will be a good thing...i think you need to think about whats best for your family and not just for you if you wanna keep it.

janedoedoh
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:00 PM
Why don't you just have T killed? Jeeze dont you ever watch "Snapped"?
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