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Anyone else ever have to end a long friendship?If so..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

how did it work out?  Long story short. I was friends with this woman for over ten years.  Our families knew each other, our kids were best friends, we did holidays together, etc.  The problem was she was very negative, and constantly said passive aggressive digs.  She claimed to not have a filter and thought that it gave her the freedom to give unsolicited  advice and digs on everyone.  Everything you had, she had better, you"re in a good marriage , hers is much better,  you cleaned the house, she cleaned hers better. You get the point. It was daunting to be her friend, but I did it for the kids.  Recently I had enough and just backed away. Eventually I told her  via text, I think we need to go our separate ways, lets please be amicable and move on.  Well , she ends up sending me a scathing email of everything I ever did wrong. From missing her bday and going on a family vacation instead to buying a new house. Everything, it was beyond weird.  I was so pissed, but I emailed her back and said lets move on, but again another email.  Well then I fired a nasty one back, which was meant with astonishment and hatefulness towards my husband and kids.

So, the friendship is over, but I don't feel satisfied.  She said all this nasty stuff, and I'm just sitting her shocked, because she was the nasty one all these years.  How do I just move forward and forget all the hurtful things she said??


banging head into wall


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:14 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:17 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:18 PM
I recently came to realize that my good friend of over 15 years, was a complete bitch. She only wants someone to give her everything, never wants to work for anything she's got. She thinks screwing the government is a great thing to do. I finally had enough. Every time she needed someone to talk or vent to, I was there. If I needed the same, she was never available. Kinda throws things into perspective, it's just too bad it took this long to figure it out.
bigmouthbabe
by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:21 PM
That would just give me closure. Block her phone, block her email, block her everything and have a dance party. Ridding yourself of someone that toxic is freeing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:23 PM

BUMP!

STVUstudent
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:27 PM

How do you do it?  You just... do.  Remind yourself that she is a sick toxic person and you do not have the emotional energy to deal with her.  If she e-mails or texts you, just don't reply.  I won't say don't read it because I know that I would not be able to just not read it... but don't reply, no matetr what she says... just don't.  Do not reach out to her.  Just don't. 

My question, though, is how are you going to explain it to the kids, why you aren't all hanging out anymore?  THAT is the area that will take the most finess.  We had to cut someone out that the children rathe rliked, and it was very hard... we finally just had to explain that Uncle Bud was very angry with mommy and mama and said some very mean and hurtful things... and that he was doing dangerous things that put them at risk so we could not allow him around them anymore...

mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:29 PM
Yes but under different circumstance.

I have gotten past it but would fell better if she had been arrested.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:31 PM

My son is 14 and goes to a different school then her son and their relationship had dwindled.  Our girls are at the same school so, it has been harder.  The reason I finally moved on was her daughter started picking up the same traits and using it on  my daughter.  My daughter said she just couldn't be her friend anymore and we collectively decided to call it quits.  My daughter is so much happier now, I wish I had done it earlier. 

Quoting STVUstudent:

How do you do it?  You just... do.  Remind yourself that she is a sick toxic person and you do not have the emotional energy to deal with her.  If she e-mails or texts you, just don't reply.  I won't say don't read it because I know that I would not be able to just not read it... but don't reply, no matetr what she says... just don't.  Do not reach out to her.  Just don't. 

My question, though, is how are you going to explain it to the kids, why you aren't all hanging out anymore?  THAT is the area that will take the most finess.  We had to cut someone out that the children rathe rliked, and it was very hard... we finally just had to explain that Uncle Bud was very angry with mommy and mama and said some very mean and hurtful things... and that he was doing dangerous things that put them at risk so we could not allow him around them anymore...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:33 PM

I just walked away and never looked back.. Best decision I have ever made for my life.

She was one of those people who were users .

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 2:36 PM
You just have to let it go. She will always try to one up you. She will always want the last word. I ended a toxic friendship and it was the best thing I ever did. The hardest part was definitely my kids because they were younger and they've grown up together. My 12 year old DD still really misses her 6 year old DD. I don't really have any other friends or family here so I thought I'd miss her but I don't. I even lost 50 lbs after the stress of the relationship was gone. Good luck.
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