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public shaming?

Posted by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:24 PM
  • 20 Replies
So my dd (12) has been stealing from all of us at home. From food late at night when we are sleeping, (no she's not starving or deprived) to money from who ever has cash and she knows about it. The recent is her little brothers birthday money which he was saving to buy a bigger bike with.

She lives with me, I have joint custody with my ex. He wants to publicly shame her. I told him NO! My dh also said no. Dad is pissy now because we say no.

Yes I want my dd to stop stealing, however I do not want to ruin her self esteem for life because bio dad is being immature.

So now I'm asking. What would you guys do? She's already grounded. Meaning no TV, etc. I'm at a loss.
by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Sign her up to volunteer at a soup kitchen or nursing home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:26 PM
Make her pay back the money she stole. Start locking the fridge at night.
DallasCowboys81
by Don't live in Texas! on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:28 PM
We already plan on making her pay him back. Every penny she gets, goes back to her brother. Thought about a lock, but I think we shouldn't have to do that.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Make her pay back the money she stole. Start locking the fridge at night.
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:29 PM

Make her earn back the money she stole.

Maybe take her down to the police station and ask an officer to explain to her what happens to thieves.

CafeMom Tickers
DallasCowboys81
by Don't live in Texas! on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:29 PM
That would prob be fun to her. She's all about helping others. Just going through a stage right now.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Sign her up to volunteer at a soup kitchen or nursing home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I'll never understand how a child can be accused of stealing food from their own home. The money thing I get. In my house the food thing would be called 'eating' not stealing. =/
DallasCowboys81
by Don't live in Texas! on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:31 PM
We have been to the police station a few times for walk through. (My kids think it is cool) they tell them what type of people go there. It don't phase her. Even had her confess to our Bishop and that didn't work.

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

Make her earn back the money she stole.

Maybe take her down to the police station and ask an officer to explain to her what happens to thieves.

corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Perfect.  This stealing behavior is about feeling powerful, let her feel powerful helping others.

Quoting DallasCowboys81: That would prob be fun to her. She's all about helping others. Just going through a stage right now.
Quoting corticosteroid:

Sign her up to volunteer at a soup kitchen or nursing home.


DallasCowboys81
by Don't live in Texas! on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:32 PM
It's the fact of what she's taking and the time of night. I'm worried she's going to get diabetes if she keeps it up. Her doctor even told her to stop.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I'll never understand how a child can be accused of stealing food from their own home. The money thing I get. In my house the food thing would be called 'eating' not stealing. =/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2016 at 7:38 PM
Well i would first ask her why she truely feels the need to steal. I would explain how it makes others feel. Be 100% truthful.

I Would get a therapist (twice a month for atleast 3 months) to see if they could help her stop if she refused to.

If that didnt work- i would put an alarm on her door. If she cant be trusted then an alarm is needed to alert you. She would get the same consequences as if she truely stole something everytime the alarm went off.

If THAT didnt work... well then... im not sure wtf i would do. 😐

I would also make her pay back all items she stole- even if she gave the item back. Also maybe if i felt truely desperate i would ask a policeman to explain what happens to people who steal and those cold hard consequences. Maybe if a man in uniform can intimidate her to stop...
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