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Done with my sister. Just done.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
I've tried for years to keep a relationship up with my sister, but I'm really leaning more and more towards just being holiday family members. We're very different, and any time we get together it usually devolves into my sister bitching and moaning about her life. Anytime I try to say anything, whether it's supportive of her, advice, sympathetic, or about my life, she tells me to shut it and that I haven't a clue and don't need to act as though I do. It's gotten to the point where really all I do is listen to her complaints and whining, and then talk about the weather.

The problem is, she's poor, always has been. She and her husband had their first kid in high school and never stopped having kids. Neither went to college, she's a stay at home mom, he works at various dead end jobs. Currently he's at Arby's and Lowe's. He was fired from Walmart at the end of last year. They're on welfare, live in a dilapidated house, and have a car that is broken more often than it works. They currently have 5 children and she's pregnant.

My husband and I both have college educations and made financially sound decisions. We have two children and no plans for more. We are by no means rich, but we are financially very comfortable.

Now, I don't care what choices my sister makes, she's my sister, but the fact that I'm doing better than she is has always been a sore point for her. From school and her ragging on me for my grades, to now, she often tries to put down my accomplishments, which results in me avoiding her for a few months before she'll "apologize" and we'll talk again.

Right now the problem is my husband, our kids, and I are going on a cruise. Our kids are of course very excited and they were talking about it to their cousins when they were at our house today for dinner. One of my sister's kids asked her if they could go on one. My sister said no, and then started in on me for flaunting my luck and rubbing her face in her misfortune.

Misfortune? She started having kids she couldn't afford as a teenager and never figured out how to be a decent parent and provider!! That's not misfortune, that's stupidity. I ended up asking her to leave, and I'm done. She's too bitter about the differences in our lives, too lazy to fix hers, and I'm done being her verbal punching bag. Sister or no, I'm done.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
blue.butterfly
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:23 AM
Ugh. Don't blame you!
Aquarius_RN
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:26 AM
That sucks, and I don't blame you in the least. I have a sil like that. She's a nightmare to deal with and I avoid her at all costs. It'd be more effort than it's worth to totally cut her out, but I don't seek her out and actively avoid any interaction with her. It always turns into her crying about how hard her life is, and it's through her own choices.
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thecolorBLU3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 5:09 AM

Make sure your house is fully secure when you go, and even better have some one house sit. I don't know your sister, but if she's anything like my sister, it's better to be safe than sorry. 

sarahfaith123
by sarah_luvs_2_b_mama on Mar. 13, 2016 at 6:53 AM
I agree with you.

I hope she finds a way to bring her kids on a cheap vacation though
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Mar. 13, 2016 at 11:03 AM
Luck, huh? Shows how she views the world and why she's not doing well.
mary716
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 11:07 AM
Yikes. Even when my sister and I are at odds, I'd never have to worry about her sabotaging my home or property. That's crazy.

Quoting thecolorBLU3:

Make sure your house is fully secure when you go, and even better have some one house sit. I don't know your sister, but if she's anything like my sister, it's better to be safe than sorry. 

bleumonster
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 11:11 AM
Totally agree with you. Just see her on holidays.
shilohkitten
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 11:23 AM

If it were me, I'd be done too.  DH had a "friend" that put us both down for "being rich" and "having it all" while he scraped by on McDonald's and other fast food jobs, getting fired every 3 months.  I finally had enough and told him where he could shove it (in many more words), and we haven't heard from him since.  I am thankful he's stopped bothering DH.  The sad part is, they were best friends in high school, but this person changed completely over the last few years and DH doesn't understand why he can't just be a productive member of society like we have been.  I don't get people that put other people down for being successful.  We worked our asses off to get where we are (and we are NOT rich, we are just comfortable), and we continue to do so no matter what other people say.

thecolorBLU3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2016 at 8:55 AM

That's good. Though, I moved states away from her, my pops house was targetted a few times over from her being bitter, upset, and having her emotions twisted by broiling inside her. It's sad to see how jealousy and bitterness can eat a person, making them irrational. Just be careful. I hope one day she can learn her lessons and begin to take responsibility for her past and her families future. (There is hope! I swear, sis is actually a fully functioning, rational, and respectful adult/mother now)

Quoting mary716: Yikes. Even when my sister and I are at odds, I'd never have to worry about her sabotaging my home or property. That's crazy.
Quoting thecolorBLU3:

Make sure your house is fully secure when you go, and even better have some one house sit. I don't know your sister, but if she's anything like my sister, it's better to be safe than sorry. 


Pink.Sunshine
by Petty Princess on Mar. 14, 2016 at 8:56 AM

blood means nothing honestly. If someone is toxic, cut them off. I have friends that are closer than some family members and I'm ok with that.

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