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They're calling us selfish but I don't feel comfortable with them staying in our house while we are not there

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
My inlaws are the kind of people who when they ask to use your bathroom you know they're going througb your medicine cabinet while in there. I've caught my mother-in-law stealing a lipstick out of my bathroom before. I didn't call her out on it but I know she did. It was a brand new lipstick sitting on my counter, she asked to use the bathroom and I went back and it wasn't there. Then she's wearing the exact shade lipstick. That's just to show you how they are. They have no respect for personal privacy personal property or personal space. They also see nothing wrong with inviting their friends over when we invited them over. Which I know is a big thing with Filipino parents but it still drives me crazy.

Anyway we are going on vacation next week. At the same time they are having some remodeling done in their house. The major parts are the kitchen but they're also having the roof work done and one of their bathrooms. For a good part of the time they won't be able to have the water turned on and in order for the work to be done in the time they need it done they cannot be living in the house during the time, about 5 days total. They understood this and it planned on staying at hotel. But then they found out that we would be on vacation during the same time. So they asked if they could stay in our house and save the money on a hotel.

My husband and I said no. There are several reasons including their behavior that I already described. I can guarantee you if we let them stay we will come home to an empty pantry an electric bill that's Sky High and a messy house. Plus I'm pretty sure a few things would go missing.
Then we told them that we just didn't feel comfortable with it they kept pressing us for an answer. To avoid a fight we said that we're not discussing it but the answer is no. They called us selfish and said that they could save a lot of money on a hotel room by staying in our house. We reminded them that they had planned on staying in the hotel so what's the big deal?

Now they're going around to several family members saying that we are so selfish and just going on and on about how it wouldn't hurt us one bit and it would save them hundreds of dollars
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LogansMom1113
by Platinum Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:30 PM
I couldn't imagine telling my parents they werent welcome in my home
quinnhenrysmom1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:31 PM
2 moms liked this

its your house..its not selfish to want the house to not be destroyed...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:33 PM
If it were my parents or really anyone close to us who we could trust I wouldn't think twice about this. But his parents are very untrustworthy. The entire vacation I'd be thinking what am I going to come home to what's going to be missing what's going to be ruined and that's not a way to enjoy a vacation

Quoting LogansMom1113: I couldn't imagine telling my parents they werent welcome in my home
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Well if anybody comes to you bitching then tell them

Sorry I don't feel comfortable having ppl in my home that I've caught snooping through my personal items/stealing from me. If you're so concerned about them, I'm sure they'll be more then happy to mooch off you for a few days, but in way will they be in our home unsupervised.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:34 PM
I would tell them straight up why. Mil is stealing your items and sees nothing wrong with that. By doing those actions she has made it so you cant trust her period (alone or not) in your home. She made her bed.

Id be pissed to hell if someone started talkin shit about me. I would make it very clear to everyone why you said no.
Dardenella
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

They have other familiy members.  Why don't they host them if they are distressed about it.

I would say no also.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:34 PM

I don't blame you and wouldn't want my IL's in our house without us here either.  The times they have been here when we weren't, we came back to a nasty, stinky mess in the bathroom (they either get feces on the toilet paper roll then don't change it or keep the door shut to trap the smell so we get to face that when we return, just gross things like that) and things moved and obviously gone through so they don't have a key anymore. 

redheadtmk
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:36 PM
I would not let my family or in-laws stay in my home either. It's my personal space and I don't want it violated. Especially after a vacation I am ready to come home to my own home and I would be pissed if it was messy, smelled funky, and stuff was missing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow so many inlaws are wanting to stay with their familes here on cm.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 1:37 PM
It might save them money and it will cost you money since you said they steal things and will make a mess..so you will havw to replace what they steal and all the food they eat on you. I dont blame you at all. I wouldnt want someone to stay in my house like that.
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