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We have a very different recollection of that vacation Mom...

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 2:59 PM
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10 moms liked this

getting ready for a family reunion in two weeks, its a long drive. I was on the phone with my mom, and told her we upgraded to a new car DVD system with dual screens, the kids both got new tablets for Christmas so we'll be bringing those, and I bought some new toys, games, and C.Ds. 

My moms reaction was to ask why we needed all that techno junk because " when you were kids, we didn't have anything like that. we played car games,don't you remember? that R.V trip to the Grand Canyon was so much fun!"

I don't know what vacation you went on mom, but my memory is very different. in was labor day weekend, 1995 (i think) as I recall, the car games got old in the first hour, then we started writing swear words on the window, and flipping off cars. this led to a case of loud laughter which would piss off dad, until he was red faced and yelling "one more noise, I'm turning this goddamn Bus around" of course, that only led to more laughing, until he was red faced and screaming in a blind rage. 

a t that time, dad decided to stop at a disgusting truck stop to gather his sanity, which lasted until he accidentally pulled out of the parking lot without mom. this led to a two hour fight in which the car was pulled over and mom walked 3/4 of a mile while dad screamed at her from the window to "get in the fucking R.V!"

we stopped at some skeevy r.v park, where the water at our spot wasn't working. so no toilet, no showers. 

The next day, the A.C in the r.v stopped working for 3 hours. long enough for my brothers and I to discuss what to do if dad decided to commit a murder suicide. more fighting, more yelling, Nicholas stood up and started making fart noises, causing dad to turn around a yell some more, and almost run us off the road. 

By now, dad was on his last leg, and told us all "sit the fuck down, not a goddamn word, or his belt was coming off" we rode the next 2 hours in silence. 

the actual Grand Canyon was awesome, dad only swore twice, both times at my brother Aaron for pretending to fall over the edge. I'm sure if someone today heard my dad threaten to ACTUALLY throw him over the fucking side if he did it again, we'd have been sent to foster care, but at that time, there was a crowd of RV dads who looked on the edge of murdering the entire family and burying them along Route 66. 

the ride back was mostly the same, with dad threatening, mom trying to be the peac keeper. my sister Amanda threw up a cheeseburger all over my dads shoes, which didn't improve his mood. by the time we turned into our driveway, dad hit the fridge for a cold beer, mom handed us some money and told us disappear for the rest of the day. 

this was not the last bad vacation we had, our family was just not cabable of extended travel without fighting.

when I reminded my mom of all this, she laughed and said it wasn't that bad. clearly, nostalgia has driven her insane. how can she not remember what we refer to as the "Disney land swearathon?" dad swore at us so much on that trip, my mom made a special point to go to the alter and pray for him the following Sunday at church. I've never heard the word "fuck" so much while surrounded by cartoon mice. 

so yeah, that's my observation for the day. no point to this post, just bored, lol.

by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 2:59 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:04 PM

We had vacations like that too.  When I was 7 my parents drove us 9 1/2 hours from our home to Virginia for a family wedding.  We had 4 kids crammed in the back seat (who needs seat belts) and we had the same level or fighting you described, right down to the swear-a-thons. 

My mother says we were all being "bold" but what did she think would happen with 4 kids, in an oldsmobile sedan for that long with no AC?

Talkingheads
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:04 PM
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That was freaking hilarious. Its amazing how nostalgia causes some to rewrite history
wildflowers25
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:08 PM

It's been a long time since I laughed this hard at something I read online!  You have a gift for writing, I could actually see in my head a guy yelling at his wife to get in the RV. lol

We took bad vacations too full of all sorts of language from my dad.  Now when we are on a long road trip, I have all sorts of things for the kids including their hand held games and all cartridges.  Before we do another one, we are getting a new portable DVD player.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:09 PM
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When I was 15 my family drove from Virginia to Alaska in a van with 2 dogs. So 5 people and 2 dogs crammed together in a van for-fucking-ever.

There's a picture of the bottom of my sneaker that perfectly sums up that experience. My brother was trying to take my picture and I kicked the camera into his face. It's was roughly 1000 degrees and the AC on the van couldn't keep up. I was a sweaty pissed off teen and my lovely brother wanted to preserve the image for all time... NO!

Tech free traveling is overrated!!
slw123
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:12 PM
Vacations with my parents were pretty bad too. My brother and I did the whole "he's on my side of the seat! She's looking at me!" thing. My parents screaming at us. My dad would never pull over to let us use the bathroom and would get more and more angry the more upset we were because we had to go. We never went any wherefore fun, there was always a purpose.....usually to visit family. We also never stayed in hotels or even motels, we tent camped. The old kind of tents with poles to put together and hold....so my dad yelled at us then too. After a whole day of sitting in the car, we just wanted to run and play, but couldn't because we had to put together that god awful tent.

We don't do any of those awful things with our kids, lol. They can have all the electronics they own with them, books, snacks. Bathroom breaks as needed. No tent camping (unless the point is to camp). We go on vacation for the pure pleasure of going on vacation. I really hope we are giving them better memories.
lexasmommy411
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

lmao, that why dad rented an RV for the Grand Canyon. Disneyland was the year before, and we rode in my dads 2 door, tiny ass car, a 6 hour drive. my parents new they made a mistake when my older brother threatened to punch my middle brother in the junk, then followed through, hard enoughh that Nicky threw up all over the backseat. and my baby sister was and still is a sympathy puker. you get the idea.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

We had vacations like that too.  When I was 7 my parents drove us 9 1/2 hours from our home to Virginia for a family wedding.  We had 4 kids crammed in the back seat (who needs seat belts) and we had the same level or fighting you described, right down to the swear-a-thons.  My mother says we were all being "bold" but what did she think would happen with 4 kids, in an oldsmobile sedan for that long with no AC?


MikeysMom22
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:15 PM

How many hours will it take to get there?? Sounds like you are planning a cross country trip with all of that stuff!!!!!

Happy Trails!!! Hope you have a blast at the reunion!!

theResidentCat
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:16 PM

parents sometimes forget the details of things ;)

mjmorrison
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I think I was on that very same vacation in 1975.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 3:22 PM

the one thing that stands out most to me about these kinds of stories is that we all remember them & laugh about them now.  Might have been hell at the time, but we all now have these (sorta) fond memories of them.  Many kids now won't have these kinds of memories.   I DID drag my ds across country in car repeatedly so he could tell his kids about his childhood swear-a-thon by dad. 

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