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It's the end of the world...

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 7:32 PM
  • 4 Replies
Every.Single.Day.

Any time thing don't go exactly like my 9yo son thinks they should he acts like it's the end of the world. Doesn't get to sit with his friend at church. ..no one likes him and life is never fair. If he has to do homework life Auckland and he might as well just die. If I correct him it's because I don't love him and never care about him. If he reaches his video game limit, I'm never nice and he never gets to do what he wants. If he has to play with Legos or read books because he doesn't have TV or video game time, we'll he'll be BORED because all of his books and Legos suck.

I take away video games...and it doesn't stop the fits in general. If he earns time back he throws a fit the very next time he isn't allowed to play.

I have never given into his fits. He still doesn't get what he wants and then loses something else because of the fit.

It doesn't matter....doesn't stop him at all. I have no idea what to do and I am at my wits end. It just never stops. I don't know how to get through to him that his life isn't as awful as he seems to think it is. He is loved. We spend time together. He has toys and gets to go places. The child isn't spoiled and isn't deprived either.

We volunteer time helping others. So he should know his life doesn't suck.

Advice?
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 7:32 PM
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Replies (1-4):
loquaciousred
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 7:47 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 7:53 PM

So you make his life awful & each time remind him "wasn't so bad the other way now was it".  Strip his room down to a bed & dresser.  Take away all electronics until further notice. Every whine session gets a chore.  Worse he whines, the worse the chore is.  Followed repeatedly by "wasn't so bad the other way now was it".  Then let him earn things back thru chores, but electronics aren't on that list.  Electronics come back when he shows over time (at least a month) that he gets it.

I've made my ds clean the toilet with a toothbrush to prove a point before (no not his toothbrush, an extra).  he's had to wash trashcans with a small sponge.  And we're talking the outside trashcans, not some already halfway clean can.  Made him pick weeds, told him to feel free to whine all he wanted, I'd be inside watching him sweat.  Wasn't so bad before now was it? 

loquaciousred
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:24 PM
Thanks. Maybe the first step will be for him to empty his room.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

So you make his life awful & each time remind him "wasn't so bad the other way now was it".  Strip his room down to a bed & dresser.  Take away all electronics until further notice. Every whine session gets a chore.  Worse he whines, the worse the chore is.  Followed repeatedly by "wasn't so bad the other way now was it".  Then let him earn things back thru chores, but electronics aren't on that list.  Electronics come back when he shows over time (at least a month) that he gets it.

I've made my ds clean the toilet with a toothbrush to prove a point before (no not his toothbrush, an extra).  he's had to wash trashcans with a small sponge.  And we're talking the outside trashcans, not some already halfway clean can.  Made him pick weeds, told him to feel free to whine all he wanted, I'd be inside watching him sweat.  Wasn't so bad before now was it? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:33 PM

No, he doesn't empty it.  He comes home & finds it empty.  Do it while he's at school.   Shock him down to his toes.  do it as this age & you don't have to do it as a teenager.   I only had to do it once & he got the point pretty damn quick.  It's gonna be ugly that first few days, but you can't break.  Everytime you think you are, you remind HIM, wasn't so bad the other way now was it? 


I also gave back the electronics in a somewhat mean way.  he could earn the Xbox back, but that didn't include the power cord or the controllers or games.  Those were separate things to be earned back.  And I never said "do this and you can get it them back" when it came to electronics.  it was "I've seen you doing really good on changing your attitude, so here's the power cord.  Let's see how you do rest of the week and we might talk about the controllers & games".   He had to SHOW that he was getting on board & understanding what was expected with his attitude. 

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