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I don't find this acceptable.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies
My oldest is texting me and she said the little ones aren't listening and just overall acting bad. They're 3 and 5. They know how to act. If we get through this weekend with everyone helping each other and being good I was going to take them all out for ice cream Tuesday. So they may be losing that plus getting punishment when I get home. This sucks. I hate doing it, but I can't put up with them being so disobedient when I'm gone.

Eta: sorry I didn't realize I forgot to mention it. They're at a sitter's house and will be all night. My oldest has an iPod and can iMessage me. So when I asked how they were that's what she told me.

Eta 2: at this point I'm thinking I'll talk with the sitter in the morning (obviously) and I'll give the kids a talk but it won't be nice. Then we'll switch gears and cook breakfast together. They can still work to earn ice cream Tuesday. We are going to the park Tuesday as well because the weather has sucked and we need sunshine. Dh isn't happy that they're misbehaving either, but we couldn't talk long so I just told him I'd handle it.
Also, what about if they're good Monday night for the sitter I'll treat them to doughnuts, or a small toy each Tuesday morning? Maybe cinnamon rolls we make together at home?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kajira
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:07 PM

My daughter is never good for her older brother either, and he contributes to the problem by not always being nice to her.

I personally, especially at 3 and 5, wouldn't punish them for this, 2+ days later. I'd punish them when I got home, or get their side of the story before I punished them. there may be more to it then you realize.

You're oldest may be a good kid, but that is still their older siblings, and her idea of bad, may not actually BE bad. LOL especially if they are just treating her like their older sibling, instead of an authority figure.


luckysevenwow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:07 PM

Are they being 3 and 5 and older sister doesn't know how to deal with it, or are they being evil little being hell bent on making her miserable?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:09 PM
How old is your oldest?
Notyourmomma4
by Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:09 PM
How old is your oldest? How long have you been gone?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:10 PM
No jayde all at a babysitter's and they'll be there all night. They're being bad for the babysitter and she can handle them, but just like I expect them to be good in school I expect them to behave for a babysitter. I know they're tired and we all are, but I need my help. Plus it's just basic that they should behave.
So you don't think I should take away ice cream? The ice cream is a huge deal and they're working towards it all weekend and Monday. I'll take them to the park Tuesday as well and that's just to enjoy the weather and each other. But the ice cream was a special treat I promised if we all survive. Lol

Quoting kajira:

My daughter is never good for her older brother either, and he contributes to the problem by not always being nice to her.

I personally, especially at 3 and 5, wouldn't punish them for this, 2+ days later. I'd punish them when I got home, or get their side of the story before I punished them. there may be more to it then you realize.

You're oldest may be a good kid, but that is still their older siblings, and her idea of bad, may not actually BE bad. LOL especially if they are just treating her like their older sibling, instead of an authority figure.

corticosteroid
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:10 PM
2 moms liked this

They're three and five.

Calm your tits.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:12 PM
I'm sorry. I'll add it in the OP. I didn't leave that out on purpose. I have to work a 12hr shift tonight and they're with a babysitter. I have to work tomorrow night too. They're being evil little assholes. Dd is 9 and she's open and honest with me. The whole sitter thing is pretty knew although I've known the lady for 6 years. The kids aren't used to it though.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Are they being 3 and 5 and older sister doesn't know how to deal with it, or are they being evil little being hell bent on making her miserable?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:15 PM
She's 9. I've been gone just over 2 hours. I forgot to mention they're at the sitters. I'll be gone all night and pick them up in the morning around 7am. Sounds like the sitter is dealing with it and she's good, but I feel like the kids should behave even better when I'm not there you know? They're kids but this is where they have to learn the consequences in order to make better decisions later.

Quoting Notyourmomma4: How old is your oldest? How long have you been gone?
luckysevenwow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Then I would talk to the sitter about stepping up her game, remind the evil minions that you expect them to behave and give it a few days for them to adjust. Right now they are pushing the babysitter to see what they can get away with, it's normal, which is why I say she needs to step it up, and squash it now. Kids are opportunist and they will take advantage of her if she lets them.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm sorry. I'll add it in the OP. I didn't leave that out on purpose. I have to work a 12hr shift tonight and they're with a babysitter. I have to work tomorrow night too. They're being evil little assholes. Dd is 9 and she's open and honest with me. The whole sitter thing is pretty knew although I've known the lady for 6 years. The kids aren't used to it though.
Quoting luckysevenwow:

Are they being 3 and 5 and older sister doesn't know how to deal with it, or are they being evil little being hell bent on making her miserable?


kajira
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 8:19 PM

Then I definitely wouldn't punish them for this, getting used to a brand new situation, like a new sitter, or stress, can take some adjustment, even for otherwise, fairly well behaved kids.

My daughter acts out when she's getting sick, overly tired, or has had a lot of stress/change in her life. Those are the times when she needs patience and understanding... (although I do call her on being nasty about stuff. she's not allowed to call names, or hit... but at 3-6, I really think these are typical behaviors, kids are learning how to cope with stress and change. Punishing them 2 days later won't help them learn to cope with change.)

If anything, I would talk to them about the behavior, how to communicate what they are feeling, and just have a rule if they act like asses, they get to just go to bed. And make it clear to the baby sitter if they won't be respectful to her, she doesn't have to put up with it and you're fine with them going ot bed early.

That's what I do with my daughter when she's acting like a snot. LOL she has to go to bed. ;) funny how she almost ALWAYS falls asleep with in 15-20 minutes of being told to go to bed when she's acting that way too. :P


When people are overly tired, cranky, or in pain, they have a harder time controlling their impulses and behaviors, add in kids not always realizing they need to rest, or are stressed out ot communicate, and you're setting them up to fail if you punish them for the behavior before they learn how to identify it, what's causing it, and how to fix it before holding them accountable for it.

I would not expect a 3-5 year old to always know they are being assholes because they are overly tired or stressed out. So I would work on this as a teaching moment... and have natural consequences in place. Like going to bed early to compensate for the behavior (which may fix it.)

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm sorry. I'll add it in the OP. I didn't leave that out on purpose. I have to work a 12hr shift tonight and they're with a babysitter. I have to work tomorrow night too. They're being evil little assholes. Dd is 9 and she's open and honest with me. The whole sitter thing is pretty knew although I've known the lady for 6 years. The kids aren't used to it though.
Quoting luckysevenwow:

Are they being 3 and 5 and older sister doesn't know how to deal with it, or are they being evil little being hell bent on making her miserable?


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