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How do i leave him?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
My son, I mean. He's 4 and I'm thinking about going back to work. I've always been with him, and really this is the last year before he'll be in school all day so I want to take advantage of all the time we'll have together. This time in his life is so special that I feel so strongly that I NEED to spend this time with him. We can get by on dh's salary, barely. There is no way to save anything. His schedule changes all the time so it's not like I can work an opposite shift. I also cannot rely on Dh to parent the way I do, he lays on the couch and watches cartoon with ds and that's about it. There would be fast, easy food and lots of tv if Dh stayed home with ds, period.
Dh does things the easy way and leaves everything else for me to do. That sucks and might be worth leaving him honestly, but thats not what this post is about.
I'm babbling I guess but I feel so sad at the idea of putting ds in daycare or something, but I'm also so tired of being behind on bills and always being scared about whether we can pay rent.
Can anyone relate? I am so tired of being at home, I'm not a good "housewife" and I'm so tired of being poor,but there's one more year where I can take ds to museums and parks and teach him things and watch him experience life all day.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
valarie1979
by Already on it on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:49 AM
I should of kept my monkey home 1 more year. If I had to go back, I would have.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:49 AM

just wait till he goes to school all day. it will be easier. why pay for daycare and get a job, you will basically break even no? take all the time you can, because it goes fast and enjoy him while hes young

Baby4us09
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this
That's rough.
I think a roof over his head is more important.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this
First and foremost being a parent means providing the basics. Your kid NEEDS a stable roof over his head and the basics. If you can't provide that in one salary you NEED to work.
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:58 AM
I think you're asking if your need to be with him is stronger then your need to contribute to a "better" quality of life?
I think thats a tough call to let others make.

Imo Id rather have time with my kid doing cheap nothing stuff then to take him $$ places that will "enrich" him... Based solely on that he is 4. There is PLENTY of time for enrichment when he is in school and you can work (p/t? Simply based on what you've said about hubby's parenting & schedule)

Kids dont "need" expensive enriching trips to make them happy. They are happy blowing bubbles in the driveway. :)
Fullofhope347
by New Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 4:03 PM

Oh dear lady - my children are grown now and let me tell you if I could go back and do anything differently it would be to choose to be with them as much as I could. I went to work for the same reasons - things were always tight, but that is not what I remember now. I remember those few days I had with them and how precious they were to me. Life is so short. Your time with your children will fly by and they will be gone. I think you have done super well sacrificing to be a great Mom to your son. Keep on dear lady, keep on!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 4:07 PM
Does it have to be an all or nothing thing? Can't you put him in half day preschool and work part time?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 4:11 PM

Wow lot's of excuses why you don't want to actually work.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 4:20 PM
I worked full time plus throughout the early years of my sons life. Now I work 15 hours a week and only when he is in school. I volunteer in his school 2-3 days a week and for my kid, this is best. He is doing so much better academically and socially since I've had more time for him. We are constantly broke. No room for expensive day trips, but I do my research and we have tons of free fun. Mondays at the zoo, Tuesdays at the science center, any weekday at the money museum, swimming at the rec center, lowes build and grow on saturdays - i never spend a dime on activities and we always enjoy the time
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 4:26 PM

I can't really relate because I couldn't wait to get back to work. Being at home makes me nuts. If you're behind on bills you have to do something though otherwise they'll keep racking up with fee after fee. I wouldn't even be able to sleep at night if that happened but I'm super anxious. He could be in preschool at 4. Here he could anyway. To me it's about quality time rather than quantity. Honestly when I SAH we mostly just watched tv, colored, went out to lunch and shopping. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because we still do those things  and my LO is thriving in preschool. It's harder to think about than to actually do it. Change is weird like that. 

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