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ugh I don't want to deal with my ex UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
I'm close to my ex's mom. She asked me to take her to the hospital for brain surgery. I accepted.

Turns out, her son may be there too. I don't want to deal with him. He's never there for her any other time. Only causes her more anxiety, more stress, more panic attacks, more depression.

I planned on taking ds but decided against it. If that abusive drug addict wants to see ds, he can take me to court. Not show up at the hospital once in 6 years to show support for his own mom.

Fuck him. Not even a month ago, he was telling her to go die, that she never did anything for him- all bc she wouldn't sell the only car she has so he could go get drugs. Never mind that he robbed her blind. Never mind that he caused her to get kicked out of two apartments (stealing rent money). Never mind that she spent over a grand the first time he got out of prison, in hopes that he changed and won't go back on drugs.

Fuck him. Most likely he won't even show and it'll break her heart- again. Why does she put up with it? Frustrates me so much.



UPDATE: He called, wanting a ride to the hospital. He's been telling her all this time he'll be there, but only called like 13-14 hrs before she's scheduled to go in, to ask for a ride.

I told him no. I'd have to take her there, pick him up, and leaving, taking him home- out the way- take her home and then finally go home myself. Not to mention his questions for food, money, a ride somewhere else, etc. And if his sister (ds' aunt, also an addict) finds out, she'll EXPECT a ride from me too. I'd be running all over columbus.

Am I wrong to have said no? Can't imagine not being with my mom during this but he does have access to a bus (per his fb pics), he can ask other people. Should I just suck it up and take him so he can be with his mom?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:54 AM

Ugh my heart goes out to you and his family. My sons father was a drug addict...thought i could help him and thought he would straighten out so many times. Died when i was 6 month pregnant. My time dealing with it was hell on earth. Families of addicts suffer so much...hang in there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:55 AM

I hope and pray everything goes ok.

Nicole_2007
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:55 AM
I am sorry. It's nice she at least has you. I am sure she is hoping that he will change and she probably wonders were she went wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:03 PM
Thank you. Me too. Idk what I'd do if something happened. If he shows up though, I know it's gonna cause her so much anxiety. Her blood pressure spikes like crazy when she thinks about going to see him, she can't calm down at all, pacing like a caged lion. That's why I'm not bringing ds. Ds doesn't like him and I know if they confront each other, it'll affect her badly. Ds can handle himself in those awkward situations- just ignore it, my ex behaves like a child, screaming and throwing a tantrum.

And I know she loves her son. I get it. But he brings so much heartache to her.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I hope and pray everything goes ok.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:07 PM
I'm sorry. It is hell on earth. I don't even bother to really deal with it but I know she loves him. She just wishes he wouldn't be so mean.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Ugh my heart goes out to you and his family. My sons father was a drug addict...thought i could help him and thought he would straighten out so many times. Died when i was 6 month pregnant. My time dealing with it was hell on earth. Families of addicts suffer so much...hang in there.

SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:08 PM
I'm sorry. That's rough and she keeps going through it because she's his mother and sounds like she may still be holding out hope he'll change so she can't just walk away just yet.

I hope everything goes well for her and it's wonderful that you are going to be there for her. I wish you all the best (:
rachel102712
by Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:12 PM

Yes i cant imagine having to deal with my son or daughter being an addict.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm sorry. It is hell on earth. I don't even bother to really deal with it but I know she loves him. She just wishes he wouldn't be so mean.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

Ugh my heart goes out to you and his family. My sons father was a drug addict...thought i could help him and thought he would straighten out so many times. Died when i was 6 month pregnant. My time dealing with it was hell on earth. Families of addicts suffer so much...hang in there.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 23, 2016 at 9:04 PM
Bump
two4one
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Based on how you said she reacts when seeing him, no, don't give him a ride. She needs to be relaxed and that won't happen with him there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 23, 2016 at 9:14 PM
while you would want to be there, and it's you think maybe he should be there (to show support), obviously him being there will not be supportive or healthy for her. Honestly keep saying no, and I would also tell hospital staff that if he shows up for him to not see her before the surgery, when her state of mind will be stressed enough as it is. Spiking her bp will put her at serious risk during the surgery.

Just say no!
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