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Teen dating

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:12 PM
  • 22 Replies
I am very torn about my ds "dating". He let me know about a month ago that there was this girl at school he really liked. About a week later he told me they were "dating". I had let my parents take the two of them roller skating with the rest of my nieces and nephews and he has gone to their house after I talked with her mom to make sure someone was home and her father brought them to the movies and stayed with them. I do think 14 is to young for this type of relationship but they are together all day at school and I would rather supervise at home what is going on then have them sneak around. I am having a problem with ds understanding why certain things aren't appropriate. He keeps coming home all upset from school because if he has his arm around her the teachers say something to them about it and he doesn't see the problem. And when they are at her house now they are only allowed in the living room and if she even leans on him they get yelled at. She hasn't been allowed over here since the two informed us parents that they were dating so it's not like I'm more lenient than her parents and I did tell my son that if she were to come here I would need to respect her parents and not allow them in bedrooms, even if doors are open. I don't know how to get across to him that 1) school isn't the place for affection and 2) they are young and need to respect the adults choices and we are only looking out for them.
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LisaStiles
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:16 PM
You need to watch 14 year olds. They fool around more than you probably realize. When he comes home from a date, smell his fingers before he has a chance to wash them.
quinnhenrysmom1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:17 PM

be prepared to be a grandma.its coming..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:19 PM
Hahaha! Ewww wtf?

Quoting LisaStiles: You need to watch 14 year olds. They fool around more than you probably realize. When he comes home from a date, smell his fingers before he has a chance to wash them.
mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:19 PM

We don't allow dating until 16...however, what is going on does not sound like dating at all. It sounds like hanging out to me. 

I don't think putting your arm around someone or hugging them is horrible though. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

tsatske2
by Latricia on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:21 PM

I don't think being a grandma is coming anytime soon for you because you are setting bounderies and enforcing them. The only thing I disagree with is I wouldn't have told him the only reason they can't be in rooms is her parents. What happens with the next girl? You're still not going to want them in his room. Stick to  your guns, Mama.

alexsmomma06
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:25 PM

I had a boyfriend at 14. We saw each other at school, held hands in between classes, went to dances, and we hung out at each others homes in common areas. We never did anything more than kiss.  If you push this hard it will only push him to sneak around. However, I would tell him if he continues to get in trouble at school for continually breaking the rules, there will be consequences. 

Zaichik90
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:29 PM
The harder you are, the more they will sneak around. Teens will do what they want if they're determined enough

I became a master at sneaking around. I told my parents I was in a few after school clubs so I could be alone with my BF (now husband, been together 9 years). I'm lucky he had his own place but I'm sure if he didn't we'd find a place.

Just make sure your son knows he can come to you for anything. Go over bc and consequences...the rest is out of your hands 😢
Zaichik90
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:30 PM
That is wrong on so many levels. Eww


Quoting LisaStiles: You need to watch 14 year olds. They fool around more than you probably realize. When he comes home from a date, smell his fingers before he has a chance to wash them.
lillypie2
by Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:36 PM
I didn't realize it came across that I was saying they could only not be in bedrooms because of her parents, even to my son. The only reason I allowed them to be in his room with door open is because his room is in an area where everyone walks by non stop in our house. I just really wanted him to understand that I was going to respect her parents choices just like I would hope they would respect mine when he is there.

Quoting tsatske2:

I don't think being a grandma is coming anytime soon for you because you are setting bounderies and enforcing them. The only thing I disagree with is I wouldn't have told him the only reason they can't be in rooms is her parents. What happens with the next girl? You're still not going to want them in his room. Stick to  your guns, Mama.

corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:37 PM

Dating is an anachronistic practice that should be drummed from society.

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