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He's blaming this on ME?!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies
Over the weekend, I found out my husband has been cheating on me, sleeping with another woman. I didn't want to believe it at first, but I finally worked up the nerve to confront him, and he admitted it.

He said I shouldn't be surprised, that since I've been such a bad wife in the last few months, of course he was going to go elsewhere and it was just sex, no big deal.

My mother in law happened to be in the hallway and heard that. She came in and slapped him. If she hadn't, I would have.

We have five children, a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and 8 month old triplets. Life has been very, very busy with 5 children under 4. I had an emergency C-section with the triplets, and then developed an infection in my incision site which required another surgery, then a third surgery where I ended up with a hysterectomy and then being sent home with home health to receive IV antibiotics. It's only been about 6 weeks that I've actually been able to move without severe pain and I'm still very tender in my abdominal area. I had three major surgeries and a huge infection in the space of a few months. While going through that, I've been raising 5 children, 4 of which are still in diapers. My mother in law moved in with us, but even with her help, it's exhausting. My husband works full time, so after taking two weeks off after their birth, he's been at work.

I was totally flabbergasted that he would try to blame this on me. I told him to get out, and he'd get the divorce papers within two weeks. He acted surprised that I was going to divorce him over this.

I'm trying to figure out where this man was hiding over the last eight years, but I just can't figure it out. I would never, in a million years, have thought him capable of cheating or saying or thinking like this.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:47 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm sorry that happened to you.  Many cheaters try to blame the other party for their shitty actions.  It is possible to keep your pants on even if you're not happy in your marriage.  While you may share some of the blame in the demise of your marriage, you are not responsible for him not being able to keep his dick in his pants.  Oldest story in the book.

Hang in there!

star33
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:48 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm sorry. That's really awful of him. Just having triplets alone would be exhausting under the best conditions.I hope your mil will still help. Hugs to you. I wouldn't tolerate that crap either.
my3makemehappy
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:49 PM

I'm sorry, that really sucks! Glad his mom slapped him, she should have done it a few more times! Glad you are on the road to recovery, just focus on yourself and those kids right now. Good luck!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:50 PM
Our marriage is actually fine, it's the sex that he was complaining about not getting. It's been almost a year since we had intercourse, I was placed on pelvic rest a while before I actually gave birth. We've still talked, I've actually made a huge effort to keep a focus on our marriage, to have time just for us, we've even gone on dates. we just haven't had sex. I just can't reconcile this man with the man I married, that he would throw away our marriage over me being physically unable to have sex.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I'm sorry that happened to you.  Many cheaters try to blame the other party for their shitty actions.  It is possible to keep your pants on even if you're not happy in your marriage.  While you may share some of the blame in the demise of your marriage, you are not responsible for him not being able to keep his dick in his pants.  Oldest story in the book.

Hang in there!

mommy404204
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry to hear that. He is a pig and horrible husband and father if he can't understand everything your body has been through. I'm glad your mother in law is on your side hopefully she can continue to help you dealing with the divorce and all of your kids. Marriage is supposed to be in sickness and health for richer or poorer though it seems like alot of men aren't taking their vows seriously. Sorry you are dealing with all of this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this
His mother is amazing, I wouldn't have been able to manage the last year without her help. She's apologized several times already for his actions, though it isn't her fault.

Thank you.

Quoting my3makemehappy:

I'm sorry, that really sucks! Glad his mom slapped him, she should have done it a few more times! Glad you are on the road to recovery, just focus on yourself and those kids right now. Good luck!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:52 PM
Oh yeah, even now that I'm not in pain with every movement, it's still exhausting. I honestly don't know how I made it through the last few months. My entire day revolves around babies and kids and making sure everyone is taken care of an receives enough attention and time.

Quoting star33: I'm sorry. That's really awful of him. Just having triplets alone would be exhausting under the best conditions.I hope your mil will still help. Hugs to you. I wouldn't tolerate that crap either.
white_wolf454
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:52 PM

what does mother in law say

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this
She's absolutely pissed at him, has apologized to me several times already, though it's not her fault, and helped him pack a bag to get out of the house.

Quoting white_wolf454:

what does mother in law say

Manic_Sinner
by 5/27/2018🤰🏽 on Mar. 30, 2016 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry. I hate cheaters, they rarely take responsibility for their actions. It's not your fault. I couldn't imagine how exhausted you are. Good luck!
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