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Not sexually compatible? (LONG)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Me and my husband have been married for 14 years. The first half of our marriage, our sex life was amazing. But the last few years, things have really gone downhill. We use to have sex a good 5-7 times a week. Now we average about 2-3 times a month. And when we do have sex, it sucks. 

Its all my husband. I don't know if its just because he is older or he bored or me, but he just doesn't seem interested in having sex anymore. Right now we have a major problem because our schedules conflict with each other. He works 2p-11pm. By the time we eat, shower and get to bed, its about 2am. He wants sex then, I don't. I have very long days. I am up at 6am with the kids getting them up and ready for school and then I have gym and stuff. I am back home by about 10 or 11am. Between then and when he leaves for work at 1:30pm is when I want sex. But he doesn't. He says it makes him too tired. Usually, all we have are his 2 days off a week. But often that doesn't work either because he is busy with doctor appts and random errands and there. We will try and get to bed early those nights and try then. But often we are both just too tired. 

So the other problem I have is whenever we do get to it, my husband expects me to give him a 1 hour massage and get him in the mood. It really pisses me off because he NEVER reciprocates. When we actually get to the sex, its another hour long love making session. Now, I don't mind that here and there. But 2 hours each and every time the few times we have sex, its exhausting. We have such little sex, a lot of times, I just want to do it. I don't want to waste time with foreplay. I am already sexually frustrated as it is. Foreplay just pisses me off more. Especially when its only me giving. A lot of times, I don't even want to bother with sex because of how involved it is. It feels more like a chore. I miss the days where we just had daily quickies. Those were a hell of a lot more satisfying than what I am getting now. Or not getting I guess I should say. 

Thing is, my husband is always making stupid comments about how little sex we have as well. I try and explain to him but he just doesn't get it. This has been an issue for quite a few years now. We talk and talk and talk and it seems we both want different things so it just never gets solved. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I feel like maybe we just aren't compatible and this is something that will just continue to get worse. Any advice? Anybody relate?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2016 at 7:26 PM
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