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She gave him breastmilk?!!?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 58 Replies
I want to preface this by saying that in every possible way, I am a natural and AP parent. If I could, I would, but I can't breastfeed. It absolutely is best, and this is not an attempt to bash on natural minded mamas.

My husband and I had our first child last month. I am unable to breastfeed and knew that before birth, so we had formula ready to go and that is what he has received since birth. He's doing just fine with it. Yesterday, my mother watched him for two hours while I ran some errands. My sister lives with our mother and was there. when I got there to pick him up, my sister was feeding him, but it looked different and it wasn't his regular bottle. I asked her what she was giving him, and she told me some of her breast milk. I couldn't believe it at first, but she was. She said that it was her job to give him at least some breast milk, since I was so lacking as a parent that I would rather feed him formula. I took my son and told her to stay far away from him. I found out that my mother was aware and didn't say anything because she didn't want to worry about making a bottle of formula. I told them it'd be a cold day in hell before either one sees my child again. I don't trust my sister and she's made many bad decisions in the past, including drugs. I have no idea what her health status is and I'm terrified that she gave my son something, or passed on drugs or god only knows what.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:35 AM
Yeah, gross. Hopefully she's clean right now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:39 AM
I hope so, but I don't know. What she did isn't the action of a sane and sober individual.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Yeah, gross. Hopefully she's clean right now.
PPCLC
by AZ Lizard on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:41 AM

Honestly, I wouldn't let either one of them around the baby again.

The "lacking as a parent" on the part of your sister and the laziness of your Mom are reasons enough IMO.

tclaurend
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:44 AM
That's terrible.

I'm a breastfeeding mom, but would never look down on someone for formula feeding- whether they couldn't or chose not to.

I absolutely would never give a child my milk without parental consent.

I'm so sorry that they did that to you
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this

That is not true because I am very health minded, dont drink, dont smoke, dont take drugs, exercise regularly, take vitamins regularly and I offered my sister-in-law my breastmilk since she couldn't produce any herself or very little.  I also was willing to take some of hers and give it to my child.  If our kids get our antibodies from our breastmilk, by giving another woman's breastmilk who may have gone through different illnesses than I have, she would be strengthening her immune system by providing even more antibodies to my child.  In the past, there were wet nurses and breastmilk is better overall than any formula out there.  I would have thanked her for being so caring and concerned for her nephew but stressed how important it was for her to have discussed it with me first.  There will be a time when you just want a break from your child and will want your sister or Mother to be able to watch him/them, I wouldnt burn those bridges just because you made a first-time Mom error in judgment.

fairymom82
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:01 AM
I was a wet nurse for my bff but with her consent and at her request. Without those two things, its wrong. Our babies were literally 1 day apart and she couldn't nurse. She lived next door. We still tease our kids are boob siblings. I see why you are pissed though. I'd would be.
EverSoJasmine
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:03 AM

I don't blame you, that would be the end of our relationship. And she should be happy you were so calm about it cause I would have punched her in the face. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:04 AM
I don't know if my sister is healthy or clean. She has a history of drug abuse, I don't trust her.

I'm well aware that wet nurses existed, but I do not want my sister feeding my child her bodily fluids. She isn't caring and concerned, she's a controlling bitch.

I have plenty of other family, family I can trust, or I can pay a baby sitter.

I did not make an error in judgment, she did.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

That is not true because I am very health minded, dont drink, dont smoke, dont take drugs, exercise regularly, take vitamins regularly and I offered my sister-in-law my breastmilk since she couldn't produce any herself or very little.  I also was willing to take some of hers and give it to my child.  If our kids get our antibodies from our breastmilk, by giving another woman's breastmilk who may have gone through different illnesses than I have, she would be strengthening her immune system by providing even more antibodies to my child.  In the past, there were wet nurses and breastmilk is better overall than any formula out there.  I would have thanked her for being so caring and concerned for her nephew but stressed how important it was for her to have discussed it with me first.  There will be a time when you just want a break from your child and will want your sister or Mother to be able to watch him/them, I wouldnt burn those bridges just because you made a first-time Mom error in judgment.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:22 AM
Well fuck, I guess I'm forever tainted since I've used drugs before.

Seriously? If you trusted her that much to be around your child, she's probably smart enough to know if she'll give your baby a disease through contact, and unless she is still using, your baby won't get anything from the drugs.

Honestly, you trusted her enough to be alone with him an hour prior, and all that changed was this one incident. She was still a drug using bad decision making mental case prior to this, yet YOU allowed her to be around him. And NOW, you're bad mouthing her, as though she had just shot up heroin or meth and whipped her titty out and shoved it in your babies mouth with herpes all over it.

I feel like her comment and ability to give him breast milk and doing it without permission bothers you more than her past, you just had to throw her under so people wouldn't look at it any differently.

If my best friend was watching my child or even my SIL, and my child was hungry and they gave him breastmilk of theirs, I would ask why, was he out, and say oh, okay, thank you! I would be more angry if they fed him formula. Because as you said, breast is best. Now wouldn't I care, even a tiny bit?

Mm..no. I'd be a bit upset if they LITERALLY breastfed him if it was my best friend. My SIL I'd still wonder why and be a bit upset but not as much considering certain factors.

But that's the thing, the reason I WOULDNT be upset is because I trust them. I'm not going to leave my child with someone I do not trust.
702girly
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:23 AM
5 moms liked this

I know people will insult me for it but I would try to have someone charged with assault for giving their breastmilk to my child.

Natural or not, it's still a bodily fluid that can pass disease or medications on to the child. I can trust someone completely and still not want to be exposed to their bodily fluids because being a good person does not mean you are disease free.

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