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I don't want you around!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
My mother in law moved to our city late last year. She hasn't been very present in our lives, but my husband's death seemed to make her decide to be more involved. At first, I was thrilled, more family to love my children, to help keep their memories of their father alive, just to be there. I quickly realized that it was going to be bad and it's only getting worse.

She's a bad grandmother, and a very unpleasant person if you're around her for more than a few days. I'd never really spent time with her before, just the occasional visit before this.

She wants to take the kids to church every Sunday morning, which the kids don't want. I will not force them. She wants to take them Wednesday evening, but we have prior commitments on that day so even if they wanted, she couldn't take them. My oldest daughter is doing krav maga and she loves it. She also plays soccer and she's not very "girly". My mother in law hates that. Every time she sees her, she makes comments and corrections about her behavior, what she does, and says she'll never be a good woman if she doesn't focus on learning to cook and doing more appropriate things. When I talk to her about it, she tells me to shut up. I threw her out of my house the first time and told her to learn how to communicate appropriately.

With our boys, she is even worse. Everything is blue and black, only "boy" things. My middle son loves to bake and cook. Today, she told him his father would be so disappointed if he saw how weak and womanly his son was. I told her to get out and stay gone. I know these are her only grandchildren, but I won't allow her to treat the kids this way. I'm just so mad that she couldn't be a decent grandparent and be around for them.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:38 AM
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Replies (1-9):
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you did the right thing she's only going to make them resent her and she's going to tarnish their fathers memory. I think cutting her out completely may be what needs to happen. Sorry for your loss.
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:44 AM

i dont blame you.

the comment she made to your son about how his father would be dissapointed in him was just cruel and unneeded.

i would have done the same as you.

by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:44 AM
What state do you live in. Some states have grandparents rights if one parent is deceased
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:48 AM

And make sure the Hideous Troll stays gone for good!

by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:50 AM
Sounds like your children and you are better off without her
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 1:55 AM
I am not taking her side in any way, her behavior was totally inappropriate, but is it possible her behavior is a symptom of depression as a result of your husband's death? Was she like that before?
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:02 AM

Sounds like she is really a sad, miserable woman, and is trying to make your children miserable and unsure of themselves. Stand your ground mama! I'd not let her around them again. As for the sexist comments, she is an idiot, some of the best athletes in the world are women, and some of the best chefs/cooks are men!!! Tell her to join the rest of us in the present, the past is GONE! Good luck

by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:08 AM
I'm a widow and my MIL kind of lost her damn mind after my DH died...I think grief makes some people crazy, or more so in my MIL's case. I'm sorry she acted this way to you. It's hard because you hope she can be a decent grandma to your kids.

I think you did the right thing throwing her out. If she can't be respectful to you and the kids she doesn't need to be around them.

My MIL ended up getting drunk and falling off of a boat and drowning. I'm still conflicted on how I feel about that....I feel bad but I don't miss the crazy.
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:09 AM
She's out of her damn mind
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