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Should I remind him?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
According to our court order XH is suppose to let me know by May 1st when he wants to get DS for summer vacation.

Our "vacation" schedule is only 2 weeks in addition to his normal visitation. He has the option of splitting those 2 weeks up if he wants.

But regardless he has to let me know by May 1st or I don't have to give him DS expect for his normal visitation.

He NEVER tells me ahead of time, and sometimes it's a pain in the butt because I have to pretty much ask him all summer and before I make plans.

I usually still let him get DS if he asks and I just rearrange things.

Well everything with XH has been a battle lately and I'm so tired of being the one that has to bend.

Come May 2nd I'm signing DS up for camps and I'm booking OUR family vacation.

If XH doesn't tell me of his vacation plans before May 1st he won't be getting him.

Should I remind him that he has the deadline?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:07 PM
I would remind him to avoid the drama & know what the heck my schedule is. Here, if they don't notify by the deadline it defaults to the month of June or July which at least lets people know what they're dealing with.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:08 PM
I'd remind him and let him know that you will be making your own plans if he doesn't let you know.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:10 PM
I'd send him an email saying that by Monday you have to sign him up for camps, so if he wants ds on specific weeks he needs to tell you now (or by May 1, whatever). If he doesn't respond make your plans and let him deal with it.
Melissa_4
by Emerald Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Nope.  He's an adult.  It's his responsibility.  You are no longer his wife, and you are not his mother.  If it's important to him, he would have put it on his calendar.

MommeeOfOne
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:10 PM

nope

he KNOWS the deadline - he does it to piss you off

your not his mom or secretary - let it go, he doesn't tell you - his loss.

allworkallplay
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:10 PM
Yes, I'd remind him. That way he cannot back pedal later on. Remind him in a saved text or email just in case.
DragonGirl319
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

If your child wants to see dad, then I'd send him one reminder and tell him that you are booking your plans May 2, and you will not change them to accomodate him.  Then stick to it.  It will only become drama later if you let it.  Give him fair notice, and then ignore any crap he tries to pull last minute.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:13 PM
Definitely remind him, and if he still doesn't give you a schedule, let him know yours, and tell him what weeks are flexible for you. If he requests visitation on the week you're going on vacation or DS has a camp, tell him he is SOL. And make sure it's all in "writing."

I wouldn't just deny him his visitation because that would affect your boy. Don't use that against him, just don't change your schedule b
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:16 PM
I'd send him an email or text just to remind him. I'd only give him one reminder and then make my plans after the deadline. if he decides to put it off and not tell you then I would tell him he can see ds whenever as long as it is not when you have plans and that you won't rearrange things this year. I wouldn't completely take away the two weeks visitation but I certainly wouldn't rearrange my schedule to fit his when he had the chance either.
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goldpandora
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 12:16 PM

So if I understand the situation, so far he has never respected the court order (and nor have you) and you have had to chase him up to get dates from him. So, basically, you have already been reminding him year after year. 

No. You don't remind him. He's supposed to be a grown up so it's time for him to take his responsibilities and time for you to stop being his "assistant". 

I suspect that if you remind him you are going to get as much grief and as little cooperation as you would if you didn't. 

In the future, it would be a good idea to respect the court order to the letter. It's there to protect everyone involved. Why should your life have to revolve around his? Why should you have to rearrange your life for him? Is his life more important than yours? Of course not.

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