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What a horrible start to a Birthday

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 4:57 PM
  • 20 Replies

It all started about 6 months ago. My Stepfather had inherited a house from his aunt. My stepfather has 1 son and my Mom has me and my sister. So they decide together that they where going to give each of the kids 40-50 thousand dollars each after the house is sold. Some things come up along the way and they say it will be more like 30 thousand each and it may take a few months longer. Fine, I don't really believe it will happen until it does, so I wasn't really too worried about it but it still sounded really nice to have.

Fast forward and we start talking about it again about a month ago. It turns out they aren't going to give us the money they are going to pick and choose how they will spend the money on us. So I finally come to terms with it and my mom asks me what are some things that would help money wise. She also mentioned she wanted to fix my driveway. That really isn't something I want money wasted on, it is bumpy but drive-able and would probably cost around 20,000 to pay someone else to fix (she won't pay for the materials for my husband to fix it). So I talked with my husband and we decided that it would be good to pay off some credit card dept and braces for my daughter which would probably be around $15,000 in total and she agreed to it.

So today on my birthday my mom comes over and I talking to her about the money and she says her husband said he didn't want to pay the credit card dept and wanted to put the money toward the driveway. I don't want to waist money on the driveway! That doesn't really benefit us. I asked her why is it so important to get it fixed and she told me, they don't have a reason, just because. So it is clear to me they are doing it just to spite me. They have always liked being in control and it is starting to ware thin. This has really made for a sucky Birthday.

And the kicker is she asked me why doen't we sell my husbands motorcycle to pay off some of the dept. I responded back to her why doesn't she just not try and fix our driveway and pay for it.


by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
imthatgirl0607
by Emerald Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Well its their money. You're getting a free driveway, say thanks and move on.

Your debt usnt her ptoblem, so be reason for the attitude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:03 PM
Just a suggestion, next time they mention the money say thanks but no thanks. If she pays someone to fix the drive way. Tell the contractors that you won't be needing it done. Then cut your mom off. You don't need her crap in your life.
HellHound
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:03 PM
How about just say, "Thanks but no thanks on the driveway. You go ahead and keep the money, we don't need it." Then you don't get something done you don't want and they lose all control.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I know this may sound crazy but when someone gives me a gift, I just say thank you & move on, even if it isn't necessarily what I would have chosen.
I hope your day gets better. Happy birthday.
SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:06 PM
This and happy birthday!

Quoting HellHound: How about just say, "Thanks but no thanks on the driveway. You go ahead and keep the money, we don't need it." Then you don't get something done you don't want and they lose all control.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:08 PM

She is being manipulative.  It seems maybe she doesn't like your husband or thinks he spends foolishly??  And she's trying to "teach you a lesson"?  I absolutely HATE head games like this.  If they want to give you the money, you should be able to decide what you need to spend it on.  I think that braces would be a very wise spend, as well as trying to get rid of debt.  Even though it is hard to do, extremely hard, I think I would just say no thank you to the money.  Sounds like the money will make you more in their "debt" than ever.

I'm sorry you have to deal with such bullshit on your birthday.  Hope you can forget about them for the rest of the day and do something you enjoy!

happy birthday

chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:13 PM

Uggh.  My mil is just like that.  One time she made an appointment for someone to come to my house and measure for custom blinds.  (She set it up.)  I then told her it was nice and all, but I couldn't afford to pay like $3000 just for blinds.  Later, when we were with her other kids, she literally gave them all 10k each and said we could have the balance of 10k after she paid the blinds people.  I'm still angry and it was like 15 years ago.  Just super manipulative.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:21 PM


Quoting bluebunnybabe: I know this may sound crazy but when someone gives me a gift, I just say thank you & move on, even if it isn't necessarily what I would have chosen. I hope your day gets better. Happy birthday.

I do agree with this, but mom did ask her what would benefit her the most. IF she told her paying off debt, etc, it's pretty shitty to take back the offer. If mom was only wanting to pay for a new driveway, she should have said that in the beginning, and not give the OP a choice. She sounds like she's playing mind games.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:22 PM

I would just tell them I don't want their money at all, but thanks for the offer. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 8, 2016 at 5:22 PM

ok

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